Yeah, dude. Don't punk the crackberry. She'll light your ass up like a Christmas tree.

Tucker

Divya: You totally won me over, Dr. Jeremiah Sacani.
Dr. Sacani: Not totally......

Note to self, become a doctor.

Evan

He is so gonna rip the cape off her batman.

Evan [of Hank and Divya]

Hank: Science makes predictions - not promises.
Boris: Is that your medical opinion or a personal one.
Hank: Maybe a little bit of both.

Page: Should we buy the country club then?
Evan: I love the fact I can't tell if you're kidding or not.

Sometime I am amazed at how complicated I make things for myself.

Eddie R

Hollister: But people do it all the time on Greys Anatomy.
Hank: Yes , but those people have desperate serious fake medical problems.

New money settles problems with lawyers. Old money settles problems with cocktails.

Paige

Divya: That is exactly what a teenage girl sounds like. Maybe you should be watching Twilight.
Evan: Seen it. Team Edward.

I get it. Sometimes you have to do something crazy in order to do something wonderful.

Hank

(to Divya) Think about Raj, what would Raj say if he lost you? Or does he have other wives?

Evan

Royal Pains Quotes

I am not ten! You cannot send me out to play!

Evan

You guys must be really good friends.

Homer[to Evan and Divya]