Yeah, dude. Don't punk the crackberry. She'll light your ass up like a Christmas tree.

Tucker

Divya: You totally won me over, Dr. Jeremiah Sacani.
Dr. Sacani: Not totally......

Note to self, become a doctor.

Evan

(to Evan) Way to go Einstein. You nailed it again.

Hank

Oh Hank, you can never fix the past.

Emily

But can it tell how far she runs?

Hank

Jill: So how does pizza and a shower sound?
Hank: Like the crust would get soggy.

Evan: I need an Evan
Hank: So hire an Evan
Evan: I think Paige wants to be my Evan.

Evan: (about Eddie) I should go talk to him.
Divya: Isn't prison punishment enough?
Evan: I'm gonna miss you.

(to Divya) Think about Raj, what would Raj say if he lost you? Or does he have other wives?

Evan

Divya: That is exactly what a teenage girl sounds like. Maybe you should be watching Twilight.
Evan: Seen it. Team Edward.

Hank: Science makes predictions - not promises.
Boris: Is that your medical opinion or a personal one.
Hank: Maybe a little bit of both.