Favorite Royal Pains Quotes
Hank: Relax, I wasn't making a move.
Evan: 'Making a move?' You actually just said that?
Hank: I've been out of the game.
Evan: For how long, since the sinking of the Lusitania?
Hank: Look, if you like her [Tess], then ask her out.
Evan: Did she tell you to tell me that?
Hank: Yes, by my locker, before homeroom.
(to Hank) You're younger than I imagined. Most concierge doctors around here are on their third wives and last legs.
Marshall Bryant
Jill: Guess you can be both.
Hank: Both?
Jill: Concierge doctor to the rich, and an on-call doctor to the rest of us. Robin Hood of medicine.
Hank: As long as no tights are involved.
Jill: Feel this. Silk. How much do you think this benefit costs?
Hank: I don't know. A lot?
Jill: Twice that. At least.
Tucker: (to Hank) Your date seems to be having a good time.
Hank: Oh, no...
Jill: Oh, this...
Hank: This is not a date.
Jill: It's not a date.
Tucker: Awww. (chuckles)
Libby: What do you kids call it these days?
Evan: So today, we are gonna meet ten women. They're gonna ask us what we do for a living. We're gonna tell them and we're gonna be so charming about it that at least one of them is gonna be interested in your services.
Hank: And the other nine?
Evan: They'll be interested in mine.
(as Boris and his party leaves)
Evan: Whooo, man crush!
Hank: You're seduced by anyone with an entourage.
Kendrick: I'm gonna go squeeze in some passing drills before lunch.
Hank & Lucy: (to Kendrick, in unison) Don't forget to stretch.
Melody: Your dream come true. Mom times two. (fist-bumps with Kendrick)
(as Evan runs into Jill in the street)
Evan: Hey, don't I know you?
Jill: They just don't make pickup lines like they used to.
Evan: I have been labeled a progressive.
(staring at Ms. Newberg's breasts) Uh, you look fantastic, ma'am.
Evan
Lucy: I have a plan for that boy, not as a dreamer, but as a mother.
Hank: I know you love your son. But you need to stop fixating on his destiny and start worrying about his life, because he can't be president if he's dead.