Favorite Scrubs Quotes
J.D.: Can I practice my toast on you?
Dr. Cox: No.
J.D.: I'm opening with a quote from 'Spartacus'.
J.D.'s Narration: Even if you've done a procedure five thousand times, there's no guarantee you won't screw up number five thousand, one.
Dr. Cox: A few more seconds, we would have been coding this guy. Take that. Barbie, as hard as it is to remember, but air goes in the lungs.
Dr. Cox: All right, then. Mr. Tanaka here is fatiguing and he needs to be intubated. Any questions?
J.D.: Yeah, Turk has asked me to be his best man. You got any advice?
J.D.'s Narration: It's weird how much Dr. Casey has influenced me in such a short time.
J.D.: Bink!
Laverne: Hey! Bink you!
Dr. Casey: Who would use this thing?
Janitor: You kiddin'? Oh, man! Just picture yourself, you're standing out here, in the open air, then you sit down and you take stock of your life. I've had some major epiphanies on this old girl. See, you can't do any soul-searching down there on those germ-infested crappers.
J.D.'s Narration: Damn him. He's right.
Dr. Casey: Do you plunder?
J.D.: I have been known to plunder.
Dr. Kelso: Now. Your patients on this wing have all been complaining about odd noises.
Dr. Casey: Oh, if it's a "bink" I can explain.
Dr. Kelso: It isn't "bink"! Stop saying "bink"!
J.D.: Was it "I come from the land down under! Where women glow and men plunder!" That wasn't me.
Carla: Turk wants to ask you something, and it would mean a lot to the both of us if you said yes.
J.D.'s Narration: Oh, my God. Would I have a threesome with Turk and Carla? Well, it's certainly flattering, and I don't think they'd tell anyone...
Turk: Will you be my best man?
J.D.: ...Oh.
(J.D. has agreed to be Turk’s best man.)
Elliot: So is this, like, the best moment you guys have ever had?
(Flashback)
J.D.: (Pouring himself cereal. A small clink is heard.) A decoder ring...huh. (Keeps pouring. Another clink is heard.) TURK!
Turk: (Entering) What?
J.D.: (Holds up both rings) It finally happened!
Turk: A double-prizer?!
(They yell and jump together. End Flashback.)
Turk: (Wistfully) That was awesome.
Carla: You guys realize you're doctors, right?
J.D.: Double-secret-decoder-ring wearing doctors.
J.D. & Turk: (Touching their ring-clad fists together) Activate!
J.D.: Form of an ice menorah!
Oh, I'm sorry. Does (whistles) mean 'stare at me like jackasses' or 'get the hell over here'!?
</i> Dr. Cox
Dr. Casey: (touching Dr. Kelso's nose) Bink!
Dr. Kelso: Oh, okay. I guess that's how they say hello in Crazyland.
Molly: So, where were we?
J.D.: Er... we weren't talking.
Molly: Was it 'cause of something you did? 'Cause I'm totally over it. I don't even remember what it was.
J.D.: No, I mean like, we've never talked.
Molly: How do I know your name then?
J.D.: You don't.
Molly: You're freaking me out Jimmy.
J.D.: It's Johnny.
J.D.'s thoughts: Why would you say Johnny? You hate Johnny.
