Scrubs Season 3 Episode 11: "My Clean Break" Quotes
J.D. looks out the window and sees a kite.
J.D.: I hate missing practice.
Turk: Me too.
(They bump fists and do a secret handshake of sorts)
J.D. and Turk: Mighty kiiiiiites!
J.D.: (sitting on Turk's shoulders) My tush is chaffing.
Turk: Alright, my turn to get on top.
J.D.: Turk... We tried playing giant black guy, remember what happened? People ran.
Turk: Damn!
Floor's wet. You know I liked the way blonde-haired doctor looked. She brightened my day, but you don't care do you 'cause you're unconscious.
</I> Janitor
First off, let me just say, thank you. For the last couple of months I have been adrift in a sea of puppy dogs, lollypops and let's face it, mediocre metaphors. Luckily, you people were kind enough to piss all over learning a procedure that could determine whether some poor sucker lives or dies and that reminded me of something that I wanted to remind you of. Because you see, I am accountable. I am accountable for the continuous crashing undeniable amateurism that you people drag into this hospital day in and day out, and believe you me when I tell you the next one of you perpetual disappointments doesn't even have the common decency to try and do better at something you supposedly do, I will go ahead and toss your sorry ass out of here in about ten seconds and then I will forget you forever in the next five. Hahahaha-Okay, nervous guy, bring that nervous butt up here, lose the shirt - we're gonna show these good people how this thing works.
Dr. Cox
Morning Class. As residency director, it is my pleasure to have both surgical and medical personnel here with us today. In fact, in this room we have enough brain power to light up a city. Not a real city, mind you, but definitely a tiny ant city whose government has recently passed a series of stringent energy-conservation laws.
Dr. Cox
Turk: Dude, with Danni you just gotta keep your eyes on the prize. Focus in on how great it is to be single! Chasing tail! Hell, I miss it every day.
Carla: Oh, you don't care if you ever have sex again, do you?
I didn't do anything. No yelling, no breaking stuff, nothing. And right then bam, I figured out what's different. I figured out what that feeling was that I was having in the park the other day with my family. I'm... happy. Now does that not just make you sick?
Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: I-I know what you're thinking, believe me, I... I do: Why in the world would a civilized, up-town man of the millennium such as myself even go ahead and give a good rat's ass about whether a bunch of snot-nosed baby docs were afraid of him. Right? Well, unfortunately the only way I know how to teach is through fear.And I tell you this because I know that this particular shortcoming will invariably affect your life... And again, sorry about the gay sailor's outfit. Your mother loves it. She couldn't be more pleasant when you have it on. Take it off - nut bag. Have it on - pleasant, approachable...
Dr. Kelso: Here at Sacred Heart, I like to think that our patients choose our hospital not only because I leak vicious rumors about competing hospitals to the press, but also because when they see one of our doctors they think, "Now that's a professional!"
Elliot: Um, I don't think I look unprofessional.
Dr. Kelso: I've let this whole new look thing slide the last few months, but now that your colleagues are beginning to complain I'm going to give you the same advice I give my son every morning. Lose the makeup! Get a haircut! And stop using my razor to shave your fun zone!
Elliot: Oh, Mrs. Gorski, I know shingles are never fun. Unless you're talking about the games we made up the summer my parents got a new roof. It was kind of like Hide & Seek, only we'd throw shingles at each other? Ahh, summer time... Still, a positive attitude can go a long way in helping you feel better, so let's see a big ol' smile
Dr. Kelso: Excuse me. Can I borrow Dr. Reid?
Mrs. Gorski: You may keep her.
Dr. Cox: Okay, people, biphasic defibrillators. How many of you had a chance to practice on the mannequin?
Todd: Oh, yeah.
Dr. Cox: With the defibrillator...?
Todd: Uhhhh...
Elliot: Ugh.
Carla: How you doing, Elliot?
Elliot: Great! I figure I spend three quarters of my life in a place filled with misery and sickness; if I need to feel good about myself, then the hell with everybody!
Carla: And for what it's worth, I think you look beautiful - I wouldn't change a thing.
Elliot: Ohh... Oh! I did, uh, tone down the eye makeup a little bit.
Carla: Oh, thank God! You looked so slutty.
