Scrubs Season 3 Episode 11: "My Clean Break" Quotes
J.D.'s Narration: After Dr. Cox exploded at us, so many thoughts were racing through my head: We have been slacking off lately. How did Doug get such incredible abs? And what the hell is the deal with Danni?
Danni: Hey.
J.D.: Hey... After you dressed up Rowdy, did you trim the clumpy areas around his butt?
Danni: Yeah...?
J.D.: Oh... Thanks. He was due for a good grooming.
Elliot: Sorry I'm late.
Todd: Hey, Elliot. Is it greasy outside?
J.D.: Oh, that is so stupid. Elliot, you look... smart.
Dr. Cox: Hello?
Elliot: Of course I'm smart - I'm a doctor!
Doug: "What's up, doc?" I just got it!
J.D.: Maybe that's why Danni wants to break up with me, she thinks I'm too smart!
Todd: You're dating a guy named Danny? Is he hot?
So I... I'm pretty much thinking it's time to get the fear back. And I'm sorry, but I think life is just too short to spend your time working someplace where people don't crap their pants at the mere sight of ya.
Dr. Cox
Dr. Kelso: Now, there you go, sweetheart! Now you look more like a doctor and less like a lap-dance!
Elliot: Thank you, sir?
Jordan: Little piece of advice: Your honker's cute in person. Peep-hole? Not your friend.
J.D.: Ha! I'm sorry, did I interrupt you from trying to eat your baby?
Elliot: You know, I shouldn't have to feel bad for wanting to look good. You don't, what with your bohemian scarves and pirate earrings...
Carla: Thank you for noticing.
Carla: Happy birthday!
Laverne: Oh, dammit, people, I've been here twenty-three years. For the last time, I'm allergic to coconut!
Turk: Dude, look at the size of this Odor-Eater! We could surf on it!
J.D.: I still don't understand why Danni's breaking up with me, man. I gotta go talk to her.
Turk slaps J.D. across the face with the giant Odor-Eater.
J.D.: Okay, first of all, words cannot describe the smell that is currently on my cheek.
J.D.: Besides, I gotta go deal with this whole Danni thing.
Turk: You want me to just talk to her for you? I'll do it.
J.D.: Nah, that's weak. I mean, if someone doesn't care about you enough to break up with you themselves, it's like they didn't ever care about you at all.
Jordan: Hey, guys. Ohh! J.D., Danni's breaking up with you. Mm, darn. See ya!
Hello, citizens! Welcome to Sacred Heart! Home of the world's most giant doctor! Be not afraid! I'm just like you! Except I'm giant!
J.D.
Dr. Cox: What the hell, there, Pee-Pants? Are you... the only one here?
Doug: I drew the short straw, so I have to press record on all the tape players when you start the lecture.
Elliot: Have the other doctors been making fun of the way I look?
Carla: What? No! No way! Why would you say that?
J.D.: Huh? I've never heard anything like that! Why?
Laverne: Hell, yeah.
