Lucy: Great class, Doctor D! Even better than the one you did with interpretive dance.
J.D.: Thanks, Lucy. I like to call it "teacher-tainment". Now, be a doll and go give Dr. Turk a message ASAP. Tell him Dr. Dorian is stuck in the tree again, but this time there are many bees. Hurry, Lucy, I have honey hair!

I don't know what Orlando-based boy band rejected you, but you do what I tell you.

Denise [to Cole]

Hopefully he's gonna die someplace else, like in a yard or somebody's shed.

Dr. Cox [about alcoholic patient, Alan]

Denise: Let's go grab that drink.
Drew: I don't really drink anymore.
Denise: Good, then you can drive.
Drew: I don't really drive either.
Denise: You're weird, I like that.

J.D. [about Cole's mother]: You're gonna hit that, aren't you?
Kelso: Like a big rig with no breaks.

Antonio Sabatto Jr., my safely ethnic dream boat.


Turk: I'd watch a show with the Fonzi and a gremlin.
J.D.: Fonzi couldn't take care of a gremlin, he's too busy being cool.

J.D. [about Denise and Drew]: You're both dark weirdoes. It's like if Fonzie and Jo from The Facts of Life fell in love with each other.
Turk: I'd watch the hell out of that.

Lucy: I've never seen myself naked. I've been naked before, but I never looked down before.
J.D.: That's weird for a doctor.

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