Scrubs Quotes
Turk: Alright Jake, here it is. The latest "Vengeance". I had to travel to five stores to find that.
Jake: This is last month's.
Turk: Look, I'll track down the new one for you later, but right now I've got to make sure I have a job next year.
Dr. Cox: Are you ready to run the extra mile?
J.D.'s Narration: You can't let him know that you don't want to do this. Meet his gaze... meet it twice as hard...
Nurse: Dr. Dorian we need you. Mr. Bentley's condition is getting worse.
J.D.'s Narration: God bless his herpes!
You know, whenever I lose something in the morgue, I just retrace my steps. Like right now, I'm looking for something and I know I came to the vending machine... And then I dropped a quarter, which rolled over here... And yep, there you are. (He looks down to reveal a body bag propped up against the vending machine) As soon as you take your eyes off 'em, you lose 'em. They're like children. Big, dead children.
Doug
I can't believe you all shaved your heads. How great, even Nana. And you don't look creepy or alien-like at all.
J.D.
All day sucker my ass. Try twenty minutes.
Dr. Kelso
Turk: I mean, how could I be fourth?! I know Bonnie's good and Figsack has mad hands, but somehow I keep forgetting that Todd is a skilled surgeon.
Todd: Hey, how come you didn't page me about that surgical consult?
Elliot: I did. You're wearing your garage door opener on your hip.
Turk: Ladies and gentlemen... number 2!
Ricky: I know you're stealing trays. Stop it.
Janitor: Buzz off.
Tamara: Do I smell banana conditioner?
J.D.: That's one of my conditioners, yes.
If it weren't for your hair, I don't think I'd be remotely interested in you.
Tamara
Elliot: Carla, the orderly lost my chart for Mr. Tyler in 406. Would we have his dosages in here somewhere?
Carla: You were gonna put him on penicillin but he was allergic so you were gonna put him on a gram of vancomycin.
Elliot: Thank you.
Janitor: You should put some of that crazy nurse memory to use on our missing dude.
Attention surgical residents still hoping to have a job next year. The annual blood drive is upon us, and I will be needing a volunteer to greet our donors as the hospital's new mascot, the friendly hypodermic needle, Mr. Prick... We'll probably change the name.
Dr. Kelso
Get a load of Mr Extra Mile Guy's leukaemia patient, sitting in there all by herself. Knowing him, he's probably out getting her a cake, shaped like a cancerous white blood cell.
Dr. Cox
