Scrubs Season 2 Quotes
Turk: Baby, you know how much I care about you, right?
Carla: I'm dizzy.
Turk: Yeah, you're fine. Honey, I know it looked really bad last night, with me and Kevin coming home all liquored up with a really hot chick, but Kevin was freaking out about his divorce and I was just trying to be supportive.
Dr. Cox: Yeah, by dragging home some random bar skank.
Turk: Yeah, dude, you're not helping.
Dr. Cox: Not trying to help.
Turk: The point is, I have figured out why you're not ready to marry me yet. You think I'm too immature.
Carla: It's not about that.
Turk: Is it my sleep toots? 'Cause, Baby, I will stop having dairy after six.
Carla: Yes?
Turk: Woo-hoo! You said yes! We're getting married! We're getting married!
Carla: Turk. Stop celebrating - that's just how I answer the phone... Honey, it's only been ten minutes since we last talked...
Paul: Don't you hate it when people yap away on their cell phones.
Elliot: She is my friend... But she is so rude.
Paul: Hey, don't you work at the hospital, too?
Elliot: Yeah. Um... I actually just got off a double shift, that's... why I look so gross.
Paul: You don't look gross. And you know what? You don't even think you look gross. I'm guessing you're one of those girls who uses the self-deprecating thing as a defense mechanism; even though, without looking, you can tell right now how many guys are checking you out.
Elliot: Okay, five.
Paul: No, no. Actually, it's four - the guy in the mullet, he's checking me out. I let him buy my last two drinks.
Dr. Cox: Listen, Doctor, while we're on me, just for a second, uh, my very pregnant ex-wife would like me to take a couple of days off and travel to her mother's house so that we can reconnect as a family.
Shrink: And I assume that you told her to blow it out her ass.
Dr. Cox: You get me! Darn it, you do!
Shrink: Yes... We're like two peas in a horrible, horrible pod.
Dr. Cox: Anyway, I have invited a couple of my friends over to the apartment while she's gonna to be gone - we're gonna have some beers, watch the game, it's gonna be great - and I was wondering if you-
Shrink: I'm not your friend!
Dr. Cox: They're not, either
Laverne: Mm-hmm. Well, just run one of the other nurses down here with some bedpans, please.
Nurse: Laverne, why can't you do it?
Laverne: 'Cause I've been here for twenty-three years and my feet hurt, that's why.
Elliot: Oh, Laverne, I am so excited about this doctor that I just met. He's nice... and humble... I just hate it how so many doctors are so self-centered, you know?
Laverne: Mm. I know exactly what you mean, girl. Just yesterday, I was-
Elliot: Oh, and he's so cute, too!
Turk: Marry me.
Carla: Still thinking.
Turk: Okay. Baby, I have finally figured out what's bothering you, though.
Carla: Really?
Turk: Yep. You think I haven't played the field enough.
Turk: Well, I just want you to know that I have had a long, productive playing career, over which time I have slept with many, many women... And by "many, many women" I mean... three.
Carla: Mmmmmm.
Turk: Take away two, equals one, and that's you. Marry me?
You! And your damn physical! Thanks to the high blood pressure you found, my insurance premium is gonna cost me an extra six grand this year! That's six grand my wife already spent on a new chin! If I were you, I would be planning to work every holiday from now until a few months after you're dead!
Dr. Kelso
Turk: Baby, I figured it out. This is what you're afraid of: The typical surgeon - a dumb, arrogant frat-boy whose behavior is so disgusting, it is embarrassing for a woman to be seen with him. No offense, buddy.
Todd: None taken. Hey, I gotta run. They're doing a breast reduction on three, and I want to get up there and try and stop it! You know what I'm talking about!
Carla: It's not The Todd.
Turk: It's gotta be The Todd.
Carla: Turk, will you stop? Yes, I've never been a big fan of surgeons. And, yes, I worry about your maturity sometimes - I'm a worrier, it's what I do. But you have got to stop trying to pinpoint what the reason is.
Turk: 'Cause there's so many of them, right? I mean, you don't like who I am... you don't like what I do...
Carla: Come on. I like the way I have to stand up on my tippy-toes to kiss you.
Turk: It's not enough.
