Scrubs Season 8 Quotes
Elliot: Besides me, can you even name one other woman you're friends with?
Turk: Carla and a lovely woman by the name Margret
Elliot: Carla is your wife and Margret is your mother
Turk: Elliot, do not talk about my momma or I will punch you in the head
Denise: You called me Joe?
J.D.: Do you not like that as a new nickname?
Denise: Just a little butch, I like banging dudes.. so...
J.D: I heard that's nice
J.D.: Your thoughts on the beard?
Cox: I like it. Of course, I'm always in favor of anything that covers parts of your face that were previously uncovered
J.D [quietly]: Yay, you hurt my feelings
I grew up on the street. No, not the hood, the Sesame Street
J.D.
Cox: Okay, before we get started today, who watches Deal or No Deal?
[guy raises hand]
Cox: Okay, you, out!
J.D.: You're too hard on yourself
Elliot: No I'm not, I'm just stupid and ugly and have a pig face
Look, surgeons always want to slice people open whether it's the best option or not. No disrespect, but you're just not that bright, you have no idea how to do anything else. Unfortunately, sick people are also very, very stupid and almost always agree to anything that a blood-letting corpse carpenter, such as yourself, tells them. I simply stay in the room to make sure they make the right choice
Dr. Cox [to Turk]
Elliot [about Turk]: How did you know he was hurting. Did you, like, hear it in his voice?
J.D.: With Turk I can always feel it from his soul, like a wave of heat. Are you going to make a joke about how gay that sounds?
Elliot: Definitely. I just don't have the words yet.
J.D.: Well let me know
Turk: I don't understand. If I'm the best surgeon here, how come you're always looking over my shoulder?
Dr. Cox: Oh give me a break, would you? Saying someone is "the best surgeon" is like saying someone is the smartest cast member of The Hills. Let's face it, it's just not that tough to float to the top of the surgical toilet
Dr. Kelso: I bet you can't wait to call all your friends and tell them how pathetic I am.
J.D.: Actually, sir, we young people are more into texting these days
Did you know that Elliot's granny panties are actually her Granny's panties?
J.D. [to Dr. Kelso]
The point is, Elliot, you're a lot stronger than you used to be. I've changed too. I have a beard now
J.D.
