Seinfeld

Seinfeld "The Nose Job" Quotes

Kramer: You're as pretty as those girls, you just need a nose job!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: It's like my brain is facing my penis in a chess game. And I'm letting him win.
George: You're not letting him win. He wins till you're forty.
Jerry: Then what?
George: He still wins but it's not a blowout.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: It's like going to the bathroom in front of a whole bunch of people and not caring.Jerry: It's not like that at all!
 • Rating: Unrated

George: I'm going straight to hell, no two ways about it.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Very exciting, very exciting, it's like watching a birth!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Isabel? She is the most despicable woman I have ever met in my life. I have never been so repulsed by someone mentally and so attracted to them physically at the same time.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: You got butchered.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Landlord: (on Babs) The woman used to walk around here half naked, sucking Colt .45 from a can. Her big fat stomach hanging out, orthopedic hose up to her knees, screaming down the hall, 'Come back to bed, Albert, you big hairy ape, and bring back that box of Danish!'
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Where'd you meet her?
Jerry: I met her on an elevator.
George: On an elevator? You met a woman on an elevator?
Jerry: Impossible, right?
George: You got less than 60 seconds. It's like dismantling a time bomb.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: I'm your fianc. Peter Von Nostrand.
 • Rating: Unrated

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