Jack: Come on, take the pen!
Jerry: I can't take it.
Jack: Do me a personal favor!
Jerry: No, I'm not
Jack: Take the pen!
Jerry: I cannot take it!
Jack: Take the pen!
Jerry: Are you sure?
Jack: Positive! Take the pen!
Jerry: Okay. Thank you very much.

(to his parents) What is going on in this community? Are you people aware of what's happening? What is driving you to this behavior? Is it the humidity? Is it the Muzak? Is it the white shoes?!


(to Elaine) It's one day. Half a day, really. I mean you subtract showers and meals, it's like twenty minutes.


I'm sleeping on a loveseat. I got my feet up in the air like I'm in a space capsule!


Jack: Do you think I take everything everybody offers me? You offered me sponge cake yesterday. Did I take it?Morty: You said you didn't want it!Jack: Of course I wanted it! I love sponge cake!Morty: Then who the hell said you couldn't have any? I mean what the hell do I care whether you have sponge cake?Jack: Because I saw the look on your face last week when I took the scotch tape!Morty: Ahh! So you got the scotch tape! I've been looking all over for it!

Jack: What happened to you?Jerry: I got in a fist fight with one of the ladies at the pool.Helen: It's from scuba diving.Jack: What's there to see underwater?

Helen: You're going underwater?Jerry: Yes. Generally that's where scuba diving is done.Helen: What do you have to go underwater for? What's down there that's so special?

Jerry: I liked it. Should I have said I didn't like it?Helen: You shouldn't have said anything. What did you expect him to do?Jerry: He could have said: "Thank you, I like it too" and put it back in his pocket.

Helen: Don't sleep in there. You can you use the bedroom.Elaine: I can't take your bedroom.Helen: I'm up at 6 o'clock in the morning.Elaine: I can't kick you out of your bed.Helen: We don't even sleep.

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