Seinfeld

Seinfeld "The Truth" Quotes

Jerry: Have you ever been audited? It's hell. It's the financial equivalent of a complete rectal examination.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Completely naked?Kramer: Completely naked.Elaine: Jerrry, How can I go on?Kramer: Alright. I'll tell you what. If it's going to make you feel any better, you can see me naked.Elaine: No thank you!Kramer: No, I want you to see me naked.Elaine: No, no, no!Kramer: No, I want to show you.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: My whole life has been a complete waste of time.Jerry: And there's so much more to go.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Elaine: What did you think, that would impress me?Jerry: You got it all wrong! I was thinking only of the poor Krakatoans!Elaine: Like you give this donation for 50 bucks and I'd start tearing my clothes off?Jerry: Those brave Krakatoans... East of Java! Who sacrificed so much for so long!
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: I don't even pay taxes.Jerry: Well that's easy when you have no income.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: The truth? You want the truth? It is your earrings! It is the chopsticks, but it's so much more! You're pretentious! You call everyone by their full name! You call my doorman, Sammy, "Samuel" but you didn't even say "Samuel", you went "Samuelle!" Papie-ay mach-ay? What is papie-ay mach-ay?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Elaine: And now you're being audited for it. See, that's Karma.
Jerry: No, that's Kramer.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: You're extremely...careful...with money.
George: I'm cheap? You think I'm CHEAP? How could you say that to me? I can't
believe this. How could you say that to me?
Elaine: You asked me to!
George: You should have lied!
Elaine: HUH, so should you.
George: I mean I'm not really working right now.
Elaine: I know.
George: When I was working I SPENT baby!
Jerry: Yeah, I know champagne, limos, cigars.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: What is this?
Kramer: Well, it's a windshield. It's going to be your new coffee table.
Elaine: Ah, I'm going to kill myself on that thing. You can't even see it.
Jerry: You'll sense it.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: I've driven women to lesbianism before but never to a mental institution.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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