Seinfeld Quotes
I do not like the bank. I've heard the expression "Laughing all the way to the bank." I have never seen anyone actually doing it. And those bank lines. I hate it when there's nobody on the line at all, you know that part, you go to the bank, it's empty and you still have to go through the little maze. "Can you get a little piece of cheese for me? I'm almost at the front. I'd like a reward for this please."
Jerry
Elaine: Come on. Let's go do something. I don't want to just sit around here. Wanna get something to eat?
Jerry: Where?
Elaine: I don't care. I'm not hungry.
Jerry: We could go to one of those cappuccino places. They let you just sit there.
Elaine: What are we gonna do there, talk?
Jerry: We can talk.
Elaine: I'll go if I don't have to talk.
Jerry: Then we'll just sit there.
George: You can't have people shoving their arms into a 600 degree oven.
Kramer: It's all supervised!
Listen, Joel. I don't think we should see each other anymore.
Jerry
Jerry: How can you talk to someone like that?
Joel: What are you saying? What, you like turkey roll?
(to Joel) It's not you, it's me!
Jerry
George: She calls me up at my office, she says, 'We have to talk.'
Jerry: Uch, the four worst words in the English language.
George: That, or 'Whose bra is this?'
Response when he realizes his answering machine was taken:
Jerry: I hate the thought of someone out there returning my calls.
Jerry: And I cannot overstate this: no soft cheeses of any kind. Is that clear?
Kramer: How can you not have insurance?
Jerry: Because I spent my money on the Clapco 8000. It's the most powerful lock they make. It has only one design flaw...the door...MUST BE CLOSED!!
Kramer: I'm human...
Jerry: In your way.
(giving house sitting instructions) One last thing, Benes. Regarding sexual activitystrictly prohibited, but, if you absolutely must, do us all a favor and do it in the tub.
Jerry