We're gonna be parents! We're gonna get to board planes first! I'm finally gonna get to see what's in that family bathroom at the mall!

Howard

• Permalink: We're gonna be parents! We're gonna get to board planes first! I'm finally gonna get to see...
• Added: February 18, 2016

Bernadette: Well why did you put your finger near it's mouth?
Howard: Poor judgement, obviously.

• Permalink: Poor judgement, obviously.
• Added: February 11, 2016

Penny: Now is that a smart thing to say on a holiday that's basically national sex night?
Leonard: I'm sorry. You're pretty. I'm stupid.

• Permalink: I'm sorry. You're pretty. I'm stupid.
• Added: February 11, 2016

Penny: That's crazy. We have reservations.
Leonard: I know.
Penny: So what did you say?
Leonard: Thanks, sorry to bother you. But I said it like a badass.

• Permalink: Thanks, sorry to bother you. But I said it like a badass.
• Added: February 11, 2016

You know, once I ordered an Uber by accident. I just got in it and went somewhere.

Sheldon

• Permalink: You know, once I ordered an Uber by accident. I just got in it and went somewhere.
• Added: February 11, 2016

I just gave you my virginity, woman. Cool your jets!

Sheldon

• Permalink: I just gave you my virginity, woman. Cool your jets!
• Added: February 04, 2016

Meemaw: No wine for me. Sheldon's bringing me my whiskey.
Sheldon: There you go, Meemaw. I made it just how you like it. A lot, in a glass.

• Permalink: There you go, Meemaw. I made it just how you like it. A lot, in a glass.
• Added: February 04, 2016

There's Amy! I just know you're going to hit it off. You both have the same fashion sense.

Sheldon

• Permalink: There's Amy! I just know you're going to hit it off. You both have the same fashion sense.
• Added: February 04, 2016

Oh, now you call her Constance. I call her Meemaw. You have your own Meemaw. It's not my fault she died when you were four.

Sheldon

• Permalink: Oh, now you call her Constance. I call her Meemaw. You have your own Meemaw. It's not my...
• Added: February 04, 2016

Penny: You know, the last time I got a handwritten letter was from someone who told me I parked like a blind person.
Leonard: That someone has a name.
Sheldon: Thank you.

• Permalink: That someone has a name.
• Added: February 04, 2016

Sheldon: Sounds like it's time for the Sheldon Cooper apology tour!
Leonard: Oh, I hope it's as much fun as the Sheldon Cooper spell checks local menus tour.

• Permalink: Oh, I hope it's as much fun as the Sheldon Cooper spell checks local menus tour.
• Added: January 14, 2016

Good, now try it as if this wasn't your first day as a person.

Amy

• Permalink: Good, now try it as if this wasn't your first day as a person.
• Added: January 14, 2016