The Big Bang Theory Quotes
Leonard: Hang on. Why do we have to hate it?
Penny: Three words. Dr. Who Convention.
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Penny: Oh, I know. We could go horseback riding.
Amy: Actually I can't. My hips don't open wider than 22 degrees. I rode a very thin pony once. On the first bump I just pssshh, popped right off.
Howard: Why do you keep assuming it was me?
Leonard: Because you do this kind of thing all the time, and then you try to cover it up.
Howard: Like when?
Leonard: What about when you flipped the Mars Rover, or lost Koothrappali's dog, or almost drove off with that baby?
Howard: Again, it looked like my car, and the baby didn't even cry until his mother punched me with her keys.
Amy: Well, you got me something. Here.
Amy: They're your Meemaw's Christmas cookies. I called and got
Sheldon: They're perfect. It tastes like her hugs.
Amy: Merry Christmas, Sheldon.
Sheldon: I can't believe this. You're happy, I'm happy. Well, maybe a holiday that's all about giving isn't so...Get your hand out of that box!
If you pop him, I will vomit.Raj
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Santa: All right, let me see if I've got this straight. A picture of you on my lap is a way to punish your girlfriend for making you celebrate Christmas?
Santa: Santa thinks dating you may be punishment enough.
Sheldon: There's an argument for that.
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Bernadette: Wow, you really do love her.
Sheldon: I do. Now, let's find the kind of gift that makes her feel small and worthless.
Howard: Well, if you're so smart, you get the bird out.
Raj: No, you're the one who let him in.
Howard: How do you know it wasn't Leonard?
Raj: Come on.
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Bernadette: So your evil plot here is to buy your girlfriend a present?
Sheldon: That's right.
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At the Christmas tree lot, there was mistletoe, and she kissed me under it in public. Like we were the stars of a Tijuana sex show.Sheldon
Bernadette: Why'd you turn it off?
Sheldon: Because in the last ten minutes, Santa came to town, kissed Mommy and ran Grandma over with a reindeer. I had a drunk uncle who did all those things. Nobody sings songs about him.
Bernadette: Maybe you'd like it more if you thought of Santa as a superhero and his power is bringing joy to children.
Sheldon: My uncle was accused of that, too. It turned out to be legal in Oklahoma.
Howard: Well, what if we turn off all the lights except for one, and it'll come to it.
Leonard: It's not a moth!
Howard: Don't yell at me. You're not gonna get any good ideas out of me if you're yelling.
Leonard: Okay, so if I remain calm, I'll get more gems like, "Turn off the lights"?!
Howard: Great, we're turning on each other. That's just what the bird wants us to do!
Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.
Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.Sheldon