Leonard: You know what we should do?
Sheldon: All go out and get vasectomies so this doesn't happen to us?

I shouldn't be raising a kid! I don't even eat my own vegetables.

Howard

Leonard: Why, 'oh no'?
Sheldon: Because this changes everything. What about comic book night? What about playing games together? What about our trips to Disneyland? How can we do those things with a child around?!"

We're gonna be parents! We're gonna get to board planes first! I'm finally gonna get to see what's in that family bathroom at the mall!

Howard

Bernadette: Well why did you put your finger near it's mouth?
Howard: Poor judgement, obviously.

Penny: Now is that a smart thing to say on a holiday that's basically national sex night?
Leonard: I'm sorry. You're pretty. I'm stupid.

Penny: That's crazy. We have reservations.
Leonard: I know.
Penny: So what did you say?
Leonard: Thanks, sorry to bother you. But I said it like a badass.

You know, once I ordered an Uber by accident. I just got in it and went somewhere.

Sheldon

I just gave you my virginity, woman. Cool your jets!

Sheldon

Meemaw: No wine for me. Sheldon's bringing me my whiskey.
Sheldon: There you go, Meemaw. I made it just how you like it. A lot, in a glass.

There's Amy! I just know you're going to hit it off. You both have the same fashion sense.

Sheldon

Oh, now you call her Constance. I call her Meemaw. You have your own Meemaw. It's not my fault she died when you were four.

Sheldon

TBBT Quotes

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.