Sheldon: If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Penny: Well, not to steal from the Bible, but turning water into wine sounds pretty good.

Leonard: I'm telling you, you can't create love in a few hours. Right?
Penny: Careful. You're poking at the whole foundation of The Bachelor.

Amy: I just read about an experiment designed to see if you can make two people fall in love in a matter of hours.
Leonard: That doesn't sound right. My research has shown that it takes three to five years of shameless begging.

Let's have a toast. To Mrs. Wolowitz. A loving mother ... to all of us. We'll miss you.


Sheldon: I didn't care for her yelling, but now that I'm not going to hear it again, I'm sad.
Leonard: If you want, I can yell at you later.
Sheldon: It won't be as good.

Sheldon: When I lost my father, I didn't have any friends to help me through it. You do.
Penny: I really thought he was going to say, "Let it go."

No. My mom died.


Nathan Fillion: How about a guy who looks like Nathan Fillion, but a little more annoyed than Nathan Fillion usually is?
Leonard: What do you think?
Raj: Aww. That's good enough for Facebook.

Penny: I don't want five dollars. I want my dignity.
Amy: So what are we talking about? Ten bucks?

Oh, hey! Did you see that? I figured out how to open my door all by myself. Maybe I'll fling some feces around my cage to celebrate.


Nathan Fillion: Oh, umm. I think you made a mistake. I'm not an actor.
Raj: Don't say that. You're not Dame Judi Dench but you're pretty great.

Raj: The guy who plays Jon Snow was a jerk and we still watch Game of Thrones.
Leonard: He was a jerk because you rear-ended him.
Raj: I was distracted. It's weird seeing a member of the Night's Watch with kayak strapped to his car.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

The show must go on, and thankfully all the things my girlfriend used to do can be taken care of with my right hand.