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The-big-bang-theory

Raj: Missy, do you enjoy pajamas?
Missy: I guess.
Raj: We Indians invented them. You're welcome.
Wolowitz: Yeah, well, my people invented circumcision

Wolowitz: Okay, you two have to back off.
Raj: Why should I back off? You back off, dude.
Leonard: Excuse me, this is my apartment, and she's my roommate's sister.
Howard: So what? You've already got Penny.
Leonard: How do I have Penny? In what universe do I have Penny?
Wolowitz: So, I can have Penny?
Leonard: Hell, no!

I'd kill my rabbi with a pork chop to be with your sister

Wolowitz

Missy: Shelly, can I speak to you a minute—alone?
Sheldon: Why does everyone suddenly want to talk to me alone? Usually no one wants to be alone with me

Sheldon: You see, I'm a superior genetic mutation, an improvement on the existing mediocre stock.
Missy: And what do you mean, "mediocre stock?"
Sheldon: That would be you

Leonard: So, how do you two know each other?
Missy: He once spent nine months with my legs wrapped around his head.
Leonard: Excuse me?
Sheldon: She's my twin sister. She thinks she's funny, but frankly, I've never been able to see it.
Missy: That's because you have no measurable sense of humor, Shelly.
Sheldon: How exactly would one measure a sense of humor? A "humormometer?"

Leonard [about the time machine]: The lights flash, and the dish spins. You wanna try it?
Penny: No, I don't wanna try it! My God, you are grown men! How could you waste your lives with these stupid toys and costumes, and comic books, and-and... now that-that...
Sheldon: Again—time machine.
Penny: Oh, please, that's not a time machine. If anything, it looks like something Elton John would drive through the Everglades

Penny [to Leonard]: Look, you are a great guy, and it is the things you love that make you who you are.
Wolowitz: I guess that makes me large breasts

Sheldon: I propose we add "pants must be worn at all times in the time machine"
Leonard: Seconded.
Wolowitz: I was gonna put down a towel

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