The Big Bang Theory

The Big Bang Theory Season 2 Quotes

Season 2 Episode 23: "The Monopolar Expedition"

Wolowitx: You think you can put up with Sheldon?
Raj: Well I'm a hindu. My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life, we're rewarded in the next. Three months in the north pole with Sheldon and I'm reborn as a well hung billionaire with wings
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Leonard [about snuggie gift]: what does this mean?
Penny: Wine, credit cards and late night television are a bad combination
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Raj: But if we were part of the team that confirmed string theory, we could drink for free in any bar in any college town with a university that has a strong science program!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Wolowitz: Just imagine ... if he says yes, we'll have an entire summer without Sheldon.
Raj: We could play outside.
Wolowitz: We could sit on the left side of the couch.
Leonard: I could use the bathroom at 8:20!
Raj: Our dreams are very small, aren't they?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sheldon: It must be an emergency; everyone at the university knows that I eat my breakfast at 8 and move my bowels at 8:20
Leonard: Yes, how did we live before Twitter?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 22: "The Classified Materials Turbulence"

Wolowitz: This is the thing from the pizza box that keeps the lid from touching the cheese.
Raj: Is that what this is for? In India, the lid just touches the cheese. Of course, we also have rampant poverty and periodic outbreaks of chlorea so a little cardboard on our cheese is no biggie
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sheldon: Why does Leonard get to go?
Wolowitz: Because he's upset over his situation with Penny, and if I have to hear about it again, I'm gonna kick him in his ovaries
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Raj [to Leonard]: If you really want to clean up your Karma, go get my fricking latte
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Sheldon: I have to say I thought the toilet humor would get less funny with repetition. Apparently there is no law of diminished comedic returns when it comes to space poop
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sheldon: You have to check your messages, Leonard! Leaving a message is one-half of a social contract, which is completed by the checking of the message. If that contract breaks down, then all social contracts break down and we descend into anarchy.
Leonard: It must be hell inside your head.
Sheldon: At times.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Raj: Interesting. Penny's current suitor asking advice from Penny's former suitor.
Leonard: Thanks for close-captioning my pain, Raj.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stuart: Here Sheldon. I pulled the new Hellboy for you. It's mind-blowing.
Sheldon: Excuse me! Spoiler alert!
Stuart: What? I didn't spoil anything.
Sheldon: You told me it's mind-blowing, so my mind is going into it pre-blown. Once a mind is pre-blown, it cannot be re-blown.
Stuart: I'm sorry.
Sheldon: Said the Grinch to Christmas.
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 21: "The Vegas Renormalization"

Leonard: Hey, how's it going?
Wolowitz: Cut the crap, you set this up, didn't you?
Leonard: Yes..
Wolowitz: She's a hooker, isn't she?
Raj: A prostitute, yes
Wolowitz: You already gave her the money?
Leonard: Yes
Wolowitz: ... Thank you
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Raj: We should have a plan in case one of us gets lucky
Leonard: Umm... okay...if I get lucky, I'll take her to my stately manner outside Gotham City. If you get lucky, I'll sleep on the moon
Leonard: Sounds like a plan
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Leonard: What were you doing at Penny's?
Sheldon: Well, we had dinner, played some games, and then I spent the night. Oh, and you'll be happy to know that I now have a much better understanding of "friends with benefits"
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Raj [about Wolowitz]: Too bad he wasn't here for that hooker. She was exactly his type: a hooker
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Raj: I'm telling you Leonard: Video slots, free drinks brought to you by a bosomy barmaid, and all-you-can-eat shrimp for $3.99. Disneyland can suck it. This is the real "happiest place on Earth"
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0

Sheldon: You know, I'm given to understand that there's an entire city in Nevada devoted specifically to help people like Howard forget their problems. They replace them with new problems such as alcoholism, gambling addiction and sexually transmitted diseases
 • Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

Sheldon [about Wolowitz and Leslie]: What exactly does that expression mean, "friends with benefits?" Does he provide her with health insurance?
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 20: "The Hofstadter Isotope"

Wolowitz: I'm a horny engineer, Leonard. I never joke about math or sex
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

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