The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Season 2 Quotes
Sheldon: You have to check your messages, Leonard! Leaving a message is one-half of a social contract, which is completed by the checking of the message. If that contract breaks down, then all social contracts break down and we descend into anarchy.
Leonard: It must be hell inside your head.
Sheldon: At times.
Raj: Interesting. Penny's current suitor asking advice from Penny's former suitor.
Leonard: Thanks for close-captioning my pain, Raj.
Stuart: Here Sheldon. I pulled the new Hellboy for you. It's mind-blowing.
Sheldon: Excuse me! Spoiler alert!
Stuart: What? I didn't spoil anything.
Sheldon: You told me it's mind-blowing, so my mind is going into it pre-blown. Once a mind is pre-blown, it cannot be re-blown.
Stuart: I'm sorry.
Sheldon: Said the Grinch to Christmas.
Leonard: Hey, how's it going?
Wolowitz: Cut the crap, you set this up, didn't you?
Leonard: Yes..
Wolowitz: She's a hooker, isn't she?
Raj: A prostitute, yes
Wolowitz: You already gave her the money?
Leonard: Yes
Wolowitz: ... Thank you
Raj: We should have a plan in case one of us gets lucky
Leonard: Umm... okay...if I get lucky, I'll take her to my stately manner outside Gotham City. If you get lucky, I'll sleep on the moon
Leonard: Sounds like a plan
Leonard: What were you doing at Penny's?
Sheldon: Well, we had dinner, played some games, and then I spent the night. Oh, and you'll be happy to know that I now have a much better understanding of "friends with benefits"
Raj [about Wolowitz]: Too bad he wasn't here for that hooker. She was exactly his type: a hooker
Raj: I'm telling you Leonard: Video slots, free drinks brought to you by a bosomy barmaid, and all-you-can-eat shrimp for $3.99. Disneyland can suck it. This is the real "happiest place on Earth"
You know, I'm given to understand that there's an entire city in Nevada devoted specifically to help people like Howard forget their problems. They replace them with new problems such as alcoholism, gambling addiction and sexually transmitted diseases
Sheldon
What exactly does that expression mean, "friends with benefits?" Does he provide her with health insurance?
Sheldon [about Wolowitz and Leslie]
I'm a horny engineer, Leonard. I never joke about math or sex
Wolowitz
In bars, all across this great nation of ours, Thursday night is Ladies Night. Which means that as the evening progresses, we will get better looking courtesy of 99 cent margaritas and 2-for-1 Jello shots
Wolowitz
