The Big Bang Theory

The Big Bang Theory Season 2 Quotes (Page 5)

Season 2 Episode 8: "The Lizard-Spock Expansion"

Sheldon: It's very simple. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and—as it always has—rock crushes scissors
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sheldon: I believe the appropriate metaphor here involves a river of excrement and a Native American water vessel without any means of propulsion
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sheldon: I am not going to watch the Clone Wars TV series until I've seen the Clone Wars movie. I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Raj: I'll tell you what, how about we go rock-paper-scissors?
Sheldon: Eww, I don't think so. Anecdotal evidence suggests that in the game of rock-paper-scissors, players familiar with each other tie 75-80% of the time due to the limited number of outcomes. I suggest "rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock"
 • Rating: 4.2 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 7: "The Panty Piñata Polarization"

Penny: I am going to introduce your friend to a world of hurt.
Leonard: You don't want to get into it with Sheldon. The guy is one lab accident away from being a super villain
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0

Raj: We now have the address of the Top Model house.
Howard: God bless you, Google Street View—registered trademark.
Leonard: Okay, for the record, what you guys are doing is really creepy.
Wolowitz: You know what? If it's creepy to use the Internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so that I can drop in on them unexpectedly, then fine, I'm creepy.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Sheldon [to Penny]: I trusted you with my e-mail address, and you betrayed that trust by sending me Internet banality.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Penny: Wait, Sheldon. This has gotten way out of hand. Okay, I've done some stupid things; you've done some stupid things. How about we just call it even and move on with our lives?
Sheldon: I've done no stupid things.
Penny: Look, you've got to meet me half way here.
Sheldon: I am meeting you half-way. I'm willing to concede that you've done some stupid things
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Leonard: Put it on the agenda.
Sheldon: You have to make a motion to put it on the agenda.
Leonard: Oh, I'll make a motion, but you're not going to like it
 • Rating: Unrated

Sheldon: The entire nation dedicated a decade of effort and treasure to put a man on the moon.
Wolowitz: Well, my fellow Americans, before this year is out we will put a Wolowitz on one of America's top models.
Raj: And a large number of people will believe it never happened
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Leonard: Just apologize to him, okay?
Penny: What? I'm not going to apologize to that nut-case.
Leonard: Come on, it's easy. He'll even tell you what to say
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 6: "The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem"

Wolowitz: Over the years, we've formulated a number of theories about how he might reproduce. I'm an advocate of mitosis.
Penny: I'm sorry?
Wolowitz: I believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food and split into two Sheldons.
Leonard: On the other hand, I think Sheldon might be the larval form of his species and someday he'll spin a cocoon and emerge two months later with moth wings and an exoskeleton
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ramona: You're not going to Halo night
Sheldon: Yes, I am. It's Wednesday. Wednesday's Halo night.
Ramona: Didn't a great man once say, "Science demands nothing less than the fervent and unconditional dedication of our entire lives"?
Sheldon: He did.
Ramona: And who was that great man?
Sheldon: Me. Sorry, Leonard.
Leonard: Seriously? You're not coming?
Sheldon: You heard her. How can I argue with me?
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0

Penny [after witnessing Sheldon and Ramona together]: You probably don't want to go in there.
Leonard: Why? What are they doing?
Penny: The only way I could explain it would be in a therapist's office with dolls
 • Rating: Unrated

Sheldon: Looking out at your fresh young faces, I remember when I, too, was deciding my academic future as a lowly graduate student. Of course, I was fourteen. And I had already achieved more than most of you could ever hope to, despite my 9:00 bedtime. Now, there may be one or two of you in this room who has what it takes to succeed in theoretical physics, although it's more likely that you'll spend your scientific careers teaching fifth graders how to make papier-mâché volcanoes with baking soda lava.
Leonard: Oh, good God.
Sheldon: In short, anyone who told you that you would someday be able to make some significant contribution to physics, played a cruel trick on you—a cruel trick indeed. Any questions? ... Of course not. I weep for the future of science
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Rajesh: Isn't there a University policy against dating graduate students?
Leonard: No. If you can talk to them, you can ask them out.
Rajesh: Damn, there's always a catch
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Sheldon: Please, please, I don't have a lot of time. Ramona finally dozed off and I need you to help me get rid of her.
Penny: Get rid of her how?
Sheldon: I don't know, but apparently I'm in some kind of relationship, and you seem to be an expert at ending them.
Penny: Excuse me?
Sheldon: I see man after man leaving this apartment, never to return.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 5: "The Euclid Alternative"

Sheldon: How am I going to get to work?
Leonard: Take the bus.
Sheldon: Oh, I can't take the bus anymore. They don't have seatbelts, and they won't
let you lash yourself to the seat with bungee cords.
Leonard: You tried to lash yourself to the seat with bungee cords?
Sheldon: I didn't try; I succeeded.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Sheldon: Leonard, have you ever wondered why my little toes and lateral incisors are significantly smaller than the average for someone of my size?
Leonard: I wonder a lot of things about you Sheldon, but not that
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 4: "The Griffin Equivalency"

Wolowitz [about Raj]: They gave him an assistant? If I want a new pen I have to go to the bank with wire cutters
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0

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