The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Penny: Is that why they're called Fig Newtons?
Sheldon: No. Fig Newtons are named after a small town in Massachusetts. No, don't write that down!

Senior fitness was canceled; it turns out you can forget how to ride a bike.

Mrs. Wolowitz

It's not enough you get the prom queen, you have to get the head of the decorating committee, too?

Wolowitz

Can't you surprise him in some other way? For example, I bet he'd be delightfully taken aback if you cleaned your apartment.

Sheldon

While I appreciate the "oh, snap," I'm uncomfortable having your moist breath in my ear.

Sheldon [to Raj]

If I hadn't gone into microbiology, I would have gone into physics. Or ice dancing.

Bernadette

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid!
Sheldon: Well that's no reason to cry; one cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid and it makes me sad.

Sheldon: Where's your notebook?
Penny: I don't have one.
Sheldon: How are you gonna take notes without a notebook?
Penny: I have to take notes?
Sheldon: How else are you gonna study for the tests?
Penny: There's gonna be a test?
Sheldon: Tests. Here, it's college ruled, I hope that's not too intimidating.

Leonard: The more the merrier.
Sheldon: That's a false equivalency, more does not equal merry. If there were two thousand people in this apartment, would we be celebrating? No, we'd be suffocating.

Sheldon, you remind me of a young Lex Luthor.

Raj

You can't sink, with all that helium in you you'll float away.

Raj [to Sheldon]

We represent the lollipop gang and we want you.

Raj [to Sheldon]
Displaying quotes 109 - 120 of 183 in total

The Big Bang Theory Season 3 Quotes

Penny: I always tear up when the Grinch's heart grows three sizes.
Sheldon: Tears seem appropriate. Enlargement of the heart muscle, or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, is a serious disease which can lead to congestive heart failure.

Sheldon: It's a bust of Sir Isaac Newton.
Penny: Oh sure, sure. Very Christmasy.
Sheldon: Well, excuse me, it's much more Christmasy than anything you put on the tree.
Leonard: Here we go...
Sheldon: December 25th, 1642. Julian calendar. Sir Issac Newton is born. Jesus, however, was actually born in the summer. His birthday was moved to coincide with the traditional pagan holiday that celebrates the winter solstice with lit fires and slaughtered guts, which frankly sounds like more fun than twelve hours of Church with my mother, followed by fruit cake.