Penny: Is that why they're called Fig Newtons?
Sheldon: No. Fig Newtons are named after a small town in Massachusetts. No, don't write that down!

Senior fitness was canceled; it turns out you can forget how to ride a bike.

Mrs. Wolowitz

It's not enough you get the prom queen, you have to get the head of the decorating committee, too?

Wolowitz

Can't you surprise him in some other way? For example, I bet he'd be delightfully taken aback if you cleaned your apartment.

Sheldon

While I appreciate the "oh, snap," I'm uncomfortable having your moist breath in my ear.

Sheldon [to Raj]

If I hadn't gone into microbiology, I would have gone into physics. Or ice dancing.

Bernadette

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid!
Sheldon: Well that's no reason to cry; one cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid and it makes me sad.

Sheldon: Where's your notebook?
Penny: I don't have one.
Sheldon: How are you gonna take notes without a notebook?
Penny: I have to take notes?
Sheldon: How else are you gonna study for the tests?
Penny: There's gonna be a test?
Sheldon: Tests. Here, it's college ruled, I hope that's not too intimidating.

Leonard: The more the merrier.
Sheldon: That's a false equivalency, more does not equal merry. If there were two thousand people in this apartment, would we be celebrating? No, we'd be suffocating.

Sheldon, you remind me of a young Lex Luthor.

Raj

You can't sink, with all that helium in you you'll float away.

Raj [to Sheldon]

We represent the lollipop gang and we want you.

Raj [to Sheldon]

The Big Bang Theory Season 3 Quotes

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

If I could speak the language of rabbits, they would be amazed and I would be their king... I would be kind to my rabbit subjects... at first.... One day, I hold a great ball for the President of France, but the rabbits don't come. I'm embarrassed so I eat all the lettuce in the world.. and make the rabbits watch.

Raj