Let's go smooch some rich, wrinkled toucas.

Howard

Tater tots and a party invitation. What a great day.

Raj

It's not a touch phobia, it's a germ phobia. If you'd like to put on a pair of latex gloves I'll let you check me for a hernia.

Sheldon

You take this one. I spent an hour last night on 'Why can't vampires shave when they can't see themselves in the mirror?'

Howard

Mrs. Cooper, hi, it's Penny. I think I broke your son.

Penny

I'm still not adjusted to how SyFy spells their name now. S-Y-F-Y... that's siffy.

Leonard

I sense that you're trying to slow walk me to an epiphany. Would you mind very much jumping to it.

Sheldon

Penny: Let's try some improvisation.
Sheldon: Why not? It seems you're improvising your entire curriculum.

Cute is for puppies. I want to be something sexy, like a labradoodle.

Raj

I know the feeling. It's like accidentally walking into a gay bar and then having no one hit on you. It happened to a friend of mine.

Raj

Sheldon: I didn't want to teach those poopy heads anyway!
Howard: FYI I think that's what Darth Vader said just before he started building the Death Star.

Sheldon: I'm not aware of the acronym KMN.
Leonard: From the context we think it means 'kill me now.'