Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The-big-bang-theory

Just keep in mind should you ever need a slightly apathetic, tertiary friend, I stand at the ready.

Sheldon

While you're at it I am upset we have an unannounced houseguest, so make me cocoa.

Sheldon

Leonard: Still arguing which is the best CSI?
Howard: We agreed they all have their merits.

Howard: I'm not having this conversation with you Ma!
Howard's Ma: God forbid you get one of those new fancy sex diseases!

Bernadette: I think the woman can manage to put a wig on by herself.
Howard: It's not just the wig, it's pinning her hair up, it's putting on her eyebrows...it's a two person job.

Sheldon: She stiffed you?
Penny: I believe that's what he did to her.

I'm so proud of you! You sold yourself out like a common streetwalker!

Sheldon

Good morning, slut.

Penny

Given how much time you spend engaging in pointless self-abuse, you might consider just this once using your genitalia to actually accomplish something.

Sheldon
Displaying quotes 91 - 99 of 235 in total