The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Season 5 Quotes
Leonard: See, this is the good thing about having a girlfriend 9,000 miles away I can spend my nights doing whatever I want.
Howard: You mean playing nerd games with us and then taking a suspiciously long shower?
Leonard: Maybe.
[Sheldon karate chops Leonard in the shoulder]
Leonard: Ow! Why did you do that?
Sheldon: To send a message: she's not for you!
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Not for you!
Let me know when you're done canoodling! Mommy needs a foot rub!
Mrs. Wolowitz
Amy: If it makes you feel any better, the only person who signed my yearbook was my mother.
Leonard: Aww.
Amy: "Dear, Amy. Self-respect and a hymen are better than friends and fun. Love, Mom."
Howard: Can you believe grown men sit around and play with toy trains?
Bernadette: That's pretty big talk for a man with a closet full of magic tricks at his mother's house.
Amy: Should I go? I've been told, sometimes, I overstay my welcome.
Leonard: Wha ... who told you that?
Amy: Well, most recently my gynecologist.
Howard: This may be hard for you to hear, but when I say "honey," I mean my fiancee.
Raj [whispers into Howard's ear]
Howard: Yeah, well, now it means her.
The tinier the train the more concentrated the fun.
Sheldon
Bernadette: I'm not going to live with your mother. Not now. Not ever.
Howard: Somebody, obviously, has some mommy issues.
I've seen pictures of your mother. Keep eating.
Sheldon [to Penny]
Leonard: You're my woman. I'm going to make you feel things you have never felt before.
Priya: Leonard
Leonard: That's right, say my name and beg me for more because I'm going to give it to you.
Priya: My parents are here.
Priya's father: Hello, Leonard, if I may also say your name.
Sheldon: Name your price.
Amy: Kiss me where I've never been kissed before.
Sheldon: You mean like Salt Lake City?
Amy: Nevermind.