The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Season 5 Quotes
Raj: No, I'm not gay. If anything, I'm metrosexual.
Raj's father: What's that?
Raj: It means that I like women, as well as, their skin-care products.
Well, you should. 50% of marriages end in divorce, but 100% of make-your-own-sundae bars end in happiness
Sheldon
Yeah, I hate wedding receptions. Yeah, I wish the bride and groom would take a cue from Bilbo Baggins. Slip on the ring, disappear and everyone goes home.
Sheldon
But e-excuse me, I have something to say. None of you may realize it, but I was very much looking forward to this weekend. It was gonna be like the old days -- the four of us hanging out, playing video games, before you guys all got girlfriends. Do you have any idea what its like to the be the only one without a girlfriend? Even if I get one someday, I'll still be the guy who got a girl after Sheldon Cooper!
Raj
Amy: I'm dating Sheldon Cooper
Penny: Yes, on purpose.
Amy: He's handsome, he's lanky, he's brilliant and his skin has the pale, waxy quality.
Penny: Well, sickly is the new sexy.
Sheldon: Is the whip sound app contextually appropriate here?
Leonard: Uh, it is, but I think you might have waited too long for it to be funny.
[whip cracks]
Leonard: [Everyone laughs] I was wrong; it was still funny.
Hmm, if it's yogurt that helps ladies poop, I think Raj beat you to it.
Leonard
Leonard: We're always the good guys. In D&D, we're lawful good. In City of Heroes, we're the heroes. In Grand Theft Auto, we pay the prostitutes promptly and never hit them with a bat.
Sheldon: Those women are prostitutes? You said they were raising money for stem cell research.
Sorry, Stallion. You're weird friend, Giraffe, is here.
Penny
Howard: Now, I downloaded an app that might be helpful in this situation.
[whip cracks]
Sheldon: You're right. I'm smart as a whip. I should be able to figure this out.
Look, if you don't want to go to the party, just don't go. You're a grown man. Act like one. Tell Amy you want to spend the weekend having a sleepover and playing video games with your friends!
Howard
I'd make fun of Sheldon for having girl problems, if I wasn't shocked that Sheldon has girl problems.
Leonard
