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Darren-sproles-on-the-league-s6e3

Ellie: Are you gonna get a divorce?
Jenny: No, we're not gonna get a divorce! We live in a great house!

Andre, this is prostitution-adjacent.

Pete

If you're into whores, I know some who are way cheaper and have much better taste in furniture.

Taco

Nobody can love Andre the way that we can love Andre, and we cannot stand Andre.

Ruxin

Frank: My sister's vagina belongs in the Louvre!
Ruxin: Why, because a bunch of Frenchmen have been in it?

I love when a belt buckle reflects what someone's hobbies are.

Taco

Pete: Does he know about Dirty Randy and the jizz-fest porno?
Andre: Do you think I have to disclose that?
Pete: Yeah, it's a law, it's called jizz-closure.

Doctor: Stress?
Ruxin: Yeah, stress is real. I'm the commissioner of my fantasy football league.
Doctor: You've brought that up several times.

Ruxin: Doctor, I don't understand why you'd think I would lie to you.
Doctor: I don't know why you would lie to me. You seem to do it almost on instinct.
Ruxin: Yeah, that is my knee-jerk reaction--to lie. I'm just more comfortable swimming in those waters.

All women love "The Bachelor." This is like having a bunch of homeless Chris Harrisons!

Andre

Gina: Don't you just love bum fights?
Pete: Of course I love bum fights! Who doesn't love a good bum fight?

Pete: I'm just focused on the hate-date.
Jenny: I don't know, Pete.
Andre: What about those flowers you got her?
Pete: They were hate flowers.
Andre: And the poem you wrote her?
Pete: Hate poem.

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 88 in total

The League Quotes

Taco: What the hell's "M.L.A"?
Kevin: It means "Mouth Like Anus."

I'm gonna install a safe word, so that if I ever feel uncomfortable during the game, I'm gonna say 'Fidelio,' and you guys will know what to do.

Andre
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