We are no longer sitting shiva. We are now sitting Shiva.

Andre

Gina's gotten plenty of satisfaction. Have you seen Adrian Peterson? That dude is plowing her like the Mall of America parking lot after a snowstorm.

Ruxin

Pete: Did you roofie my drink?
Rafi: Oh, I roofied like 40% of the drinks here. It's a numbers game.

You are not just clients to us, but nameless strangers with money as well.

Taco

Yes, I will be your ballsy guard. From now on, I'm Kevin Costner, your balls are Whitney Houston.

Rafi

I destroyed you using a baby's fist as a weapon...Gattaca!

Rafi

My yogurt's not curdled!

Ruxin

Ruxin: Did you give my son baby brass knuckles?
Rafi: No, I had baby brass knuckles MADE for your son!

If you win it again, you're gonna be bi-Sac-tual.

Jenny

Nice Krampage, Taco.

Ruxin

My team is performing like Ruxin's sperm, failing all over the place.

Jenny

Taco: What the hell's "M.L.A"?
Kevin: It means "Mouth Like Anus."

The League Quotes

I'm gonna install a safe word, so that if I ever feel uncomfortable during the game, I'm gonna say 'Fidelio,' and you guys will know what to do.

Andre

Kevin: Well, Taco is rich.
Andre: Rich to Taco is like having twenty bucks and a can of Four Loko.