The League

The League Quotes (Page 2)

Season 4 Episode 11: "12.12.12"

Frank: My sister's vagina belongs in the Louvre!

Ruxin: Why, because a bunch of Frenchmen have been in it?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Taco: I love when a belt buckle reflects what someone's hobbies are.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 10: "Our Dinner With Andre"

Pete: Does he know about Dirty Randy and the jizz-fest porno?

Andre: Do you think I have to disclose that?

Pete: Yeah, it's a law, it's called jizz-closure.
 • Rating: Unrated

Doctor: Stress?

Ruxin: Yeah, stress is real. I'm the commissioner of my fantasy football league.

Doctor: You've brought that up several times.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ruxin: Doctor, I don't understand why you'd think I would lie to you.

Doctor: I don't know why you would lie to me. You seem to do it almost on instinct.

Ruxin: Yeah, that is my knee-jerk reaction--to lie. I'm just more comfortable swimming in those waters.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andre: All women love "The Bachelor." This is like having a bunch of homeless Chris Harrisons!
 • Rating: Unrated

Gina: Don't you just love bum fights?

Pete: Of course I love bum fights! Who doesn't love a good bum fight?
 • Rating: Unrated

Pete: I'm just focused on the hate-date.

Jenny: I don't know, Pete.

Andre: What about those flowers you got her?

Pete: They were hate flowers.

Andre: And the poem you wrote her?

Pete: Hate poem.
 • Rating: Unrated

Taco: You can lead a horse to horse-c*ck, but you can't make him eat it.

Ruxin: That is not a Chinese proverb.

Taco: That's what it said on my fortune scrotum!
 • Rating: Unrated

Andre: Gina, you look absolutely stunning tonight.

Gina: Thank you, although it's not really a compliment coming from you, because you look like you run the jerk-off stand at a Romanian sex circus.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 9: "Bro-Lo El Cordero"

Rafi: Remember--his weak spot is his d*ck!
 • Rating: Unrated

Ruxin: It smelled like Nick Nolte and Gary Busey were doing squats in there.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kevin: You trade-roofied me!

Andre: I didn't come here to have my character assassinated, like Lincoln at the end of the movie--spoiler alert!
 • Rating: Unrated

Ruxin: Are you on bath salts right now?

Rafi: Oh yeah, big time.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: So it could be Alzheimer's OR adultery.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 8: "The Anchor Baby"

Lane: Mash-ups are my specialty. I've been called the Girl Talk of the floral world.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ruxin: Where do you put Chalupa Batman to bed? In the pantry or the freezer section?
 • Rating: Unrated

Taco: We're brothers! It's weird if I DON'T sit on your lap!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ruxin: My defenses are looking weaker than a drunk single girl in her thirties at her little sister's wedding.
 • Rating: Unrated

Taco: I love this place, it is awesome! It's right down the street from the dog grooming van where I get my hair cut. And I don't need wi-fi, because my neighbors have sex all the time and I can see them.
 • Rating: Unrated

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