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Where do you put Chalupa Batman to bed? In the pantry or the freezer section?

Ruxin

We're brothers! It's weird if I DON'T sit on your lap!

Taco

My defenses are looking weaker than a drunk single girl in her thirties at her little sister's wedding.

Ruxin

I love this place, it is awesome! It's right down the street from the dog grooming van where I get my hair cut. And I don't need wi-fi, because my neighbors have sex all the time and I can see them.

Taco

She looks like she belongs on a beer poster, and I look like the guy who makes you answer riddles before you cross a bridge.

Ruxin

It's like listening to Kevin and Jenny have sex. Two minutes of silence, and then tears.

Taco

Next time, jerk off in your van like a gentleman.

Taco

I got two tickets to Salad-ise!

Andre

Repair Guy: I don't know who teaches a dog to bark at someone's dick!
Taco: This guy does!

Taco: They left for their cruise, so they asked me to take care of Dicko.
Kevin: You know it's Ditka.

Taco: Kevin, can I use your TV to play Sega Genesis? I just got 'Joel Madden Football,' and I'm getting good at it.
Ruxin: 'Joel Madden Football'?
Taco: Yeah, he's the drummer of Good Charlotte. I guess he just really likes football or something.

I'm gonna install a safe word, so that if I ever feel uncomfortable during the game, I'm gonna say 'Fidelio,' and you guys will know what to do.

Andre
Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 80 in total

The League Quotes

Kevin: Well, Taco is rich.
Andre: Rich to Taco is like having twenty bucks and a can of Four Loko.

Taco: I want to be able to post whatever I want on DallasCowboys.com.
Jerry Jones: Post what?
Taco: Musings, pictures of shoes I like, drawings of historical figures interacting with food in unusual ways, portraits of people I know drawn from memory, sex photos.
Jerry Jones: No.

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