The League

The League Quotes (Page 4)

Season 4 Episode 4: "The Breastalyzer"

Ruxin: Do you know how to read?
Rafi: I get by, alright?
Ruxin: What do you know?
Rafi: You know, like, red means 'stop.'
Ruxin: Great.
Rafi: Green means 'go.'
Ruxin: Good.
Rafi: Yellow is the other one.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gail: You really messed this up. You could have had sex with the most pathetic, insecure, desperate woman you've ever met! I would have let you put me in a cage!
Rafi: I have a cage!
Gail: Have fun in your cage--alone!
 • Rating: Unrated

Rafi: I don't respect you!
Gail: Perfect! I don't respect myself!
 • Rating: Unrated

Ruxin: No knives.
Rafi: What if there's an attack?
Ruxin: It's a bunch of children and mothers in a pool.
Rafi: That's exactly when I would attack!
 • Rating: Unrated

Pete: Breasts are meant to be ogled and fondled, not tugged at like some raccoon pulling at a trash bag.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 3: "The Freeze Out"

Ruxin: That guy fed me Spongebob Squarepants and now I'm gonna die like in 'Alien'!
 • Rating: Unrated

Taco: I can feel your penis on the back of my head.
Rafi: That's a war-boner, man.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: These birthday parties are the worst. You are stuck talking to people that you have nothing in common with except that you had unprotected sex at the same time.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rafi: Gattaca!
Taco: I don't think he's seen that movie! He wouldn't be yelling that if he had.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pete: What smells like feces?
Rafi: Huh? Oh yeah, that's me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ruxin: I love white dudes, so why wouldn't I love eating a live shrimp marginally prepared by one?
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 2: "The Hoodie"

Taco: Poor little Chalupa is going to lose his crispy outer shell.
Kevin: Could you not speak of my son's member as if it was FourthMeal?
 • Rating: Unrated

Pete: What was Taco doing outside your apartment?
Sutton: I don't know. He said he worked for the phone company, but it looked like he was just taking a nap.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pete: So what's it like being counsel for Taco Corp, now that he actually has some money?
Ruxin: Well, there are more meetings, and they're longer, and he keeps talking about some corporate retreat, which I know is just a sweat lodge at Burning Man.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pete: Taco, you have three girlfriends already!
Taco: I need a back-up! People die all the time! A month ago, I had four girlfriends! Rest in peace, Oksana. Goddamn that mountain lion.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andre: I don't blog about everything. I blog about magic, and sometimes Don Henley.
 • Rating: Unrated

Taco: Foreskin is a MacArthur family institution, like alcoholism.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 1: "Training Camp"

Taco: I love hospital parties! Where is the bar?
Andre: There's no bar, it's a hospital.
Taco: It's America. There's always a bar.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: Well, Taco is rich.
Andre: Rich to Taco is like having twenty bucks and a can of Four Loko.
 • Rating: Unrated

Taco: I want to be able to post whatever I want on DallasCowboys.com.
Jerry Jones: Post what?
Taco: Musings, pictures of shoes I like, drawings of historical figures interacting with food in unusual ways, portraits of people I know drawn from memory, sex photos.
Jerry Jones: No.
 • Rating: Unrated

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