Popular The Office Quotes
Michael: Hey Ryan? Could you get to that copy from before?
Ryan: Pam's better at that stuff.
Pam: That is so insulting.
Ryan: How is it insulting to say that you're good at something?
Pam: Because the thing your saying I'm good at, is pushing a big green button a bunch of times.
Ryan: I'm not judging it, it's like ... I could run GM but I couldn't fix a car. It's not saying one is better than the other.
Pam: Seriously? Because it sounds like one of those is better than the other.
Erin: Oh my God! I can't believe it! I jut won an art contest! [Erin screams, Pam and Jim look at each other, Dwight, laughing, gets up and hands her some money]
Erin: [whispering] Thanks. I still don't understand why you wanted me to say that.
Dwight: Shut up.
Jim: I just figured you needed a place where you could concentrate. And not be bothered by... bothering people.
Ryan: Okay.
When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was Puke. I would chug a fifth of SoCo, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more SoCo, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight Bs. They called me Buzz.
Andy
Dwight: What are you doing?
Michael: What are you doing?
Dwight: Hey! Hey! Stop it! Stop it!
Michael: You, you like that?
Dwight: C'mon. What are you doing? Mine was a part of my hilarious joke.
Michael: Mine was retribution. What are you doing? No more knock-knock jokes. That's it.
Jim: Ding Dong.
Michael: [to Jim] Who's there?
Jim: KGB.
Michael: Dwight, get the door.
Dwight: I'm not answering it.
Michael: Answer the door.
Jim: Ding dong.
Dwight: No way, it's the KGB.
Jim: Ding dong.
Dwight: I'm not answering that. You answer it.
Michael: I'm not gonna answer it
Dwight: I'm not gonna answer it, it's the KGB.
Jim: The KGB will wait for no one!
Dwight: It's true.
Is that a palm tree or did Gabe get skinnier? Either way, let's pee on it.
Gabe [reading]
Kids, sometimes it pays to be gay.
Oscar
Oscar: Pam, just for the record I think you're over-reacting a little bit. Your mom's old enough to make her own decisions.
Pam: Oh, well, thanks Oscar. I was just wondering, how would you feel if Michael was sleeping with your mom?
Oscar: My mother's in a wheelchair.
Pam Beesly: Well he could still... [pause] I'm sorry about that. [pause] Oh, could I just get you to sign this second page?
Here it is. Heart of New York City. Times Square. Named for the... good times you have when you're in it.
Michael
Pam: Are you still seeing Donna?
Michael: Since when is this an office where we delve into each other's personal lives?!
Michael: [on speakerphone] David, it was my understanding that I was not going to be managed.
David: What gave you that idea?
Michael: It was my understanding.
David: I see.
Contramptions! She's contrampting!
Michael
