The Office "Counseling" Quotes
Michael (impersonating Gabe): Ahhh, I'm gonna mess everything up so I can fix it and keep my job. Bah. Bah. Good thing I'm here 'cause I do nothing. I make everybody nervous. Gahh.
• Rating: 2.0 / 5.0
Erin: Disposable cameras are fun, although it does seem wasteful and you don't ever get to see your pictures. If it's an important event, that you want to remember, I recommend using a real camera.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Michael: I was raised by wolfs. I was 25 years old before I saw my first human being. Wait, is it a full moon tonight? Awooooooo!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Kelly: I talk a lot, so I've learned to just tune myself out.
• Rating: 4.6 / 5.0
Phyllis: I'm glad Michael's getting help. He has a lot of issues and he's stupid.
• Rating: 3.7 / 5.0
Michael: I know what you wanna ask me, did your mom ever see you naked?
Toby: We can do this with more privacy.
Michael: So you can molest me? Okay, I don't think so. We're gonna keep the blinds open so everyone can see what a big failure you are.
• Rating: 2.0 / 5.0
Michael (to Toby): You are the worst. I hate looking at your face. I wanna smash it.
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0
Dwight: I see you found our magical toy box Jim.
Jim: These are actually forks and knives from the break room.
Dwight: Jim (laughs), to you and me maybe, but come on. To a child's imagination, that's Mr. Fork and Lieutenant Knife...and Miss Fork.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Dwight: Now that I own the building I've been looking for new sources of revenue...and a daycare center? Woohahahaha. Well I guess it's not an evil idea, it's just a regular idea, but there's no good laugh for a regular idea.
• Rating: 2.0 / 5.0
Are we missing your favorite quote from "Counseling?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!
Total Quotes: 9