Kevin: Oh well, if they aren't together now, then they probably never will be. I thought they'd be good together, like PB&J. [wheels turning] Pam Beasley ... and Jim. What a waste. What. A. Waste.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: Finishing that 5k, was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I ate more fettuccine alfredo and drank less water, than I have in my entire life. People always talk about triumphs of the human spirit, well today I had a triumph of the human body. That's why everybody was applauding for me at the end. My guts and my heart, and while I eventually puked my guts out, I never puked my heart out. And I'm very, very proud of that.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Toby: And the winner is Toby Flenderson!
Kelly: Have a seat, I'll write it down.
Toby: Where are we?
Kelly: I dunno, like 5 kilometers from the office.
Toby: He couldn't have made it a circle?
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Toby: I'm makin' great time. Usually I have to take a bathroom break half way through a race like this, but not today.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Andy: I've walked two marathons. Pretty sure I can handle a 5k. Key is drafting, eliminate wind resistance.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Stanley: Oh yes I will work out today. I will work out a way to avoid running for a stupid cause.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jan: OK, name please.
Creed: Creed Bratton, 75-plus division.
Jan: You're over 75 years old?
Creed: 82, November 1st. How much is the prize money?
Jan: There's no prize money.
Creed: What, is any of this real?
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Pam: They say if you're nervous around someone you should picture them naked. I do not recommend this strategy. Try picturing them with more clothes on... or a funny coat.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Pam: So I closed the door but the image of his...
Jim: Baquette.
Pam: ... dangling participle...
Jim: Eww.
Pam: ... still burned in my eyes.
Jim: I can imagine.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jim: So what's your strategy for this race?
Pam: Well I'm gonna start fast.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Pam: Then I'm gonna run fast in the middle.
Jim: What?
Pam: Then I'm gonna end fast.
Jim: Why won't more people do that?
Pam: Cause they're just stupid.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: Finishing that 5k, was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I ate more fettuccine alfredo and drank less water, than I have in my entire life. People always talk about triumphs of the human spirit, well today I had a triumph of the human body. That's why everybody was applauding for me at the end. My guts and my heart, and while I eventually puked my guts out, I never puked my heart out. And I'm very, very proud of that.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Toby: And the winner is Toby Flenderson!
Kelly: Have a seat, I'll write it down.
Toby: Where are we?
Kelly: I dunno, like 5 kilometers from the office.
Toby: He couldn't have made it a circle?
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Toby: I'm makin' great time. Usually I have to take a bathroom break half way through a race like this, but not today.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Andy: I've walked two marathons. Pretty sure I can handle a 5k. Key is drafting, eliminate wind resistance.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Stanley: Oh yes I will work out today. I will work out a way to avoid running for a stupid cause.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jan: OK, name please.
Creed: Creed Bratton, 75-plus division.
Jan: You're over 75 years old?
Creed: 82, November 1st. How much is the prize money?
Jan: There's no prize money.
Creed: What, is any of this real?
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Pam: They say if you're nervous around someone you should picture them naked. I do not recommend this strategy. Try picturing them with more clothes on... or a funny coat.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Pam: So I closed the door but the image of his...
Jim: Baquette.
Pam: ... dangling participle...
Jim: Eww.
Pam: ... still burned in my eyes.
Jim: I can imagine.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jim: So what's your strategy for this race?
Pam: Well I'm gonna start fast.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Pam: Then I'm gonna run fast in the middle.
Jim: What?
Pam: Then I'm gonna end fast.
Jim: Why won't more people do that?
Pam: Cause they're just stupid.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 36
