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Oh well, if they aren't together now, then they probably never will be. I thought they'd be good together, like PB&J. [wheels turning] Pam Beasley ... and Jim. What a waste. What. A. Waste.

Kevin

Finishing that 5k, was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I ate more fettuccine alfredo and drank less water, than I have in my entire life. People always talk about triumphs of the human spirit, well today I had a triumph of the human body. That's why everybody was applauding for me at the end. My guts and my heart, and while I eventually puked my guts out, I never puked my heart out. And I'm very, very proud of that.

Michael

Toby: And the winner is Toby Flenderson!
Kelly: Have a seat, I'll write it down.
Toby: Where are we?
Kelly: I dunno, like 5 kilometers from the office.
Toby: He couldn't have made it a circle?

I'm makin' great time. Usually I have to take a bathroom break half way through a race like this, but not today.

Toby

I've walked two marathons. Pretty sure I can handle a 5k. Key is drafting, eliminate wind resistance.

Andy

Oh yes I will work out today. I will work out a way to avoid running for a stupid cause.

Stanley

Jan: OK, name please.
Creed: Creed Bratton, 75-plus division.
Jan: You're over 75 years old?
Creed: 82, November 1st. How much is the prize money?
Jan: There's no prize money.
Creed: What, is any of this real?

They say if you're nervous around someone you should picture them naked. I do not recommend this strategy. Try picturing them with more clothes on... or a funny coat.

Pam

Pam: So I closed the door but the image of his...
Jim: Baquette.
Pam: ... dangling participle...
Jim: Eww.
Pam: ... still burned in my eyes.
Jim: I can imagine.

Jim: So what's your strategy for this race?
Pam: Well I'm gonna start fast.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Pam: Then I'm gonna run fast in the middle.
Jim: What?
Pam: Then I'm gonna end fast.
Jim: Why won't more people do that?
Pam: Cause they're just stupid.

Angela: Pssst. I'm having relationship problems. And since you're always having relationship problems, I thought you'd be able to give me some advice.
Pam: What's wrong?
Angela: I have this crazy thought, that I know is crazy. That maybe Dwight killed my cat.
Pam: Hmm...
Angela: When I got home, Sprinkles' body was in the freezer where Dwight said he left her, but all my bags of frozen french fries had been clawed to shreds.
Pam: Ah.
Angela: Something's not right. The vet's doing an autopsy.
Pam: Angela, I'm sorry.
Angela: Did Roy ever kill one of your cats?
Pam: I'm more of a dog person.

I'm petrified of nipple chafing. Once it starts it is a vicious circle. If you have sensitive nipples, they chafe, so they become more sensitive, so they chafe more. So... I take precautions.

Andy
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The Office Season 4 Episode 1 Quotes

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael

This is going to be a very good year. Very good. Jan is at home. Jim is back. My protege Ryan is at corporate. Good stuff. Um ... Andy and Dwight are rockin' the sales team. I feel very blessed. [slams Meredith with the car]

Michael