The Office Season 5 Episode 14: "Lecture Circuit (Part 1)" Quotes
Michael: She was the love of my life. What you and Jim have times 100. Just she... she just left. And I didn't... I never got closure, you know? I never got closure with her. I haven't talked to her since. I haven't seen her since. And I feel like I need to go to Nashua and get closure. I feel like I need that.
Pam: Okay, lets go.
Michael: I'll just blow off the lecture at Rochester.
Pam: Yeah, screw 'em. Let's do this.
- Permalink: She was the love of my life. What you and Jim have times 100. Ju...
Pam: Are you asleep?
Michael: No. I'm just thinking about what you said, about Karen, about closure. You remember Holly? She used to work for H.R.?
Pam: No, remind me.
Michael: Blonde hair, nice boobs. Not too big, not too small.
- Permalink: Are you asleep? No. I'm just thinking about what you said, abo...
I have here Kelly Kapoor's personal and confidental file. Allow me to share. "Kelly Kapoor spent April 1995 to December 1996 at Berks County Youth Center." Juvie. "According to past employers, it in no way affects her job perfor..." Blah, Blah, Blah.Dwight
- Permalink: I have here Kelly Kapoor's personal and confidental file. Allow ...
[Andy leans in to kiss Julia]
Julia: Whoa. What the hell?
Andy: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh I, I thought we had this energy. And I'm a mess. And I just had my heart broken. And you came in today and your so pretty. You're, like, incredibly pretty.
Julia: I just got out of a relationship too. It's really hard.
Andy: Yeah, right? Wow. Yeah. Do you want to talk about it? Go to a mall of something? Just walk around?
Julia: No, I, I don't think so.
- Permalink: Whoa. What the hell? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh I, I thought...
Andy: Well listen, you're a new client, and as one of my new clients, you will always be taken care of. That is the Nard-Dog guarantee.
Julia: What's a "Nard-Dog"?
Andy: [points to self] This is the Nard-Dog.
- Permalink: Well listen, you're a new client, and as one of my new clients, ...
Michael: I would give that lecture a solid B+. Although, for the record, Karen. Wow, kind of mean.
Pam: I like her.
Michael: Really? No, honestly. Tell me what you really think.
Pam: I'm serious. Um, I'm really glad I came.
Pam: Because, um, cause I'll never wonder ever again. If I did something wrong and... Now I have closure. She's happy and, I don't know, it feels good.
- Permalink: I would give that lecture a solid B+. Although, for the record, ...
Creed: This gal, she's really into you?
Andy: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've seen her, like, three times today. And we love all the same music, and whenever I walk into a room, she totally looks up.
Creed: All right, all right. Say no more. So, this is how I got squeaky fromme. No small talk. Just show her who's the boss. Just go right in and kiss her.
Andy: Okay, it sounds risky.
Creed: Have I ever steered you wrong, Jim?
Andy: Wait, what?
- Permalink: This gal, she's really into you? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've seen...
Pam: So when are you due?
Karen: Uh, in about a month.
Pam: Wow, that is wonderful, congratulations.
Karen: Thank you. It just all happened so fast.
Michael: It's really amazing. Congratulations Karen. So is there a guy or, uh, a person. Or, uh, a sperm machine that did this to you, or?
Karen: Yes, Michael. My husband impregnated me.
Michael: Oh, great.
- Permalink: So when are you due? Uh, in about a month. Wow, that is wond...
Michael: I grab this [grabs a chain saw], and I turn it on and I say, "Prepare yourself, for the Utica chain store massacre."
Karen: No that's, that is incredibly dangerous.
Michael: No, don't worry, the chain is off.
Pam: No it's not.
- Permalink: I grab this , and I turn it on and I say, Prepare yourself, for ...