The Office

The Office "Murder" Quotes

Jim: Really?
Pam: [in character] It wasn't me. I ain't goin' down for this!
Jim: I want to go home.
Pam: Get the keys out of my purse and start the car.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: [in accent] There has been a lot of murder and a lot of intrigue. My poor little heart can barely take it no more. [regular voice] Today is the hardest I have worked in a long, long time.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jim: I'm just gonna skip the what and go right to why.
Michael: Because this is the recreation of a crime scene!
Meredith: I'm the dead body and these are my brain chunks.
Dwight: Shut up, you're dead.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pam: I think Michael may have snapped.
Jim: Or maybe he's just stuck in character.
Pam: Which is worse? Snapped or stuck?
Jim: Both. They're both worse.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: I was just thinking about Weekend at Bernie's. Guy's dead the whole time! It's funny.
Erin: I haven't seen it.
Andy: Speaking of weekends. Are you excited about our date this weekend?
Erin: Of course Nathaniel! Where are ya takin' me?
Andy: Finest steak house in all Savannah?
Erin: Savannah? That's a long way from Scranton!
Andy: Did you mean a real date?
Erin: No. Did you?
Andy: Totally ... not!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: A lot of the evidence seems to be based on puns.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: I'm a little worried that I may have asked out Naughty Nellie instead of Erin. Which would be a whole lot less appealing because Naughty Nellie says yes to everyone. And she might be a murderer.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kevin: Oooh, now do the Swedish chef!
Andy: I'm not familiar, what province is he from?
Kevin: He lives on Sesame Street, you dumbass.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pam: My name is Deborah U. Taunt.
Andy: That's clever! Debutante!
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael. Well, well, well, what is this contraption, I do declare?!
Oscar: It's my Blackberry, Michael. I'm trying to get updates on the company.
Michael: Who's Michael? I'm Caleb Crawdad, I do declare!
Ryan: You don't have to keep saying 'I do declare.' Every time you say something, it means you're declaring it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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