The Office

The Office "Stress Relief" Quotes (Page 2)

Michael: Nobody should have to go to work thinking, oh this is the place that I might die today. That's what a hospital is for. An office, is for not dying. An office is a place to... live life to the fullest. To the max. To... an office is a place where dreams come true.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: We found ourselves on the less prepared side of things when Stanley had his- when his heart went bezerk. And I knew exactly what to do but in a much more real sense I had no idea what to do. So I thought we should have a CPR training class. And... of course you can't get the practice dummy, unless the instructor comes along with it. Red Cross... racket.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: We are not always going to be there, to coddle your heart back, when it disappears to be working. What are you going to do when your heart stops?
Stanley: I would die.
Michael: And you're okay with that?
Stanley: I'm okay with the logic of it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Red Cross woman: Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of one hundred beats per minute.
Michael: Ohhhkay that's, uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?
Jim: How's that going to help you?
Michael: I'll divide and then count to it.
Jim: Right.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: I can't keep doing this forever.
Red Cross woman: It's been 20 seconds.
[Kevin continues for a few seconds, then stops and walks off]
Kevin: Call it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: A throne for thy highness!
Stanley: I'm not sitting in a wheelchair.
Michael: No no no. No debate. You are going to sit in that wheelchair until you're back on your feet.
Stanley: [to camera] I'm going to die.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stanley: It's true. Around this office in the past I have been a little abrupt with people. But the doctor said, if I can't find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I'm going to die.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: My dad spent the night at our place last night. My parents have been fighting for weeks and, it kinda sucks. Jim's been great. But I'm gonna have to buy my dad a robe.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: We don't normally download films illegally. Because we're honest hard-working people.
Jim: And we don't know how.
Pam: But Andy does, so we have to watch it with him.
Jim: Punishment fits the crime.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: Jim and Pam are like movie geniuses. They're catching things that are totally going over my head.
 • Rating: Unrated

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