Michael: I shall now be serving Dwight's job as Assistant Regional Manager.
Dwight: That's Assistant to the Regional Manager.

Jan: How would a movie increase productivity, Michael? How on earth would it do that?
Michael: People work faster after.
Jan: Magically?
Michael: No. They have to, to make up for the time they lost ... watching the movie.
Jan: No.

Ever since Michael dumped Jan for Carol, Jan's been bitching out on him. Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.

Dwight

[to Jim, in a video game] Look how cute he is. And he's trying to shoot with a smoke grenade.

Karen

Angela: It's really happening!
Dwight: Yes.
Angela: We can make a difference here.
Dwight: I will make a difference here.
Angela: You? Alone? 'Cause I thought together we could ...
Dwight: Oh, please, don't be naive. But you could be in charge of the women.

I know that patience and loyalty are good and virtuous traits... but sometimes, I just think you need to grow a pair!

Angela

Pam: What?
Creed: Just looking.
Pam: Please go back to your desk.
Creed: In a minute.

Michael: Hey, I thought you weren't supposed to eat anything for a couple hours after you've had a crown put it?
Dwight: They have this new kind of quick-drying bonding.
Michael: Oh? Sounds like a good dentist.
Dwight: Yeah...
Michael: What's his name?
Dwight: [pauses] Crentist.
Michael: Your dentist's name is Crentist? Hmm. Sounds a lot like dentist.
Dwight: Maybe that's why he became a dentist.

"Hug it out, bitch." That is what men say to each other after a fight. They hug it out, in doing so they just let it go, and walk away, and they're done. Not a good idea to say that to a woman, however, I have found. Doesn't translate.

Michael
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