Michael: I shall now be serving Dwight's job as Assistant Regional Manager.
Dwight: That's Assistant to the Regional Manager.

Jan: How would a movie increase productivity, Michael? How on earth would it do that?
Michael: People work faster after.
Jan: Magically?
Michael: No. They have to, to make up for the time they lost ... watching the movie.
Jan: No.

Ever since Michael dumped Jan for Carol, Jan's been bitching out on him. Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.

Dwight

[to Jim, in a video game] Look how cute he is. And he's trying to shoot with a smoke grenade.

Karen

Angela: It's really happening!
Dwight: Yes.
Angela: We can make a difference here.
Dwight: I will make a difference here.
Angela: You? Alone? 'Cause I thought together we could ...
Dwight: Oh, please, don't be naive. But you could be in charge of the women.

I know that patience and loyalty are good and virtuous traits... but sometimes, I just think you need to grow a pair!

Angela

Pam: What?
Creed: Just looking.
Pam: Please go back to your desk.
Creed: In a minute.

Michael: Hey, I thought you weren't supposed to eat anything for a couple hours after you've had a crown put it?
Dwight: They have this new kind of quick-drying bonding.
Michael: Oh? Sounds like a good dentist.
Dwight: Yeah...
Michael: What's his name?
Dwight: [pauses] Crentist.
Michael: Your dentist's name is Crentist? Hmm. Sounds a lot like dentist.
Dwight: Maybe that's why he became a dentist.

"Hug it out, bitch." That is what men say to each other after a fight. They hug it out, in doing so they just let it go, and walk away, and they're done. Not a good idea to say that to a woman, however, I have found. Doesn't translate.

Michael

Do I have to hire a babysitter for you, Michael? Some little 14 year old girl whose job it is to limit...

Jan

Saboteur! Saboteur! I'm going to kill you for real. This game... the game is over, I'm really going to shoot you!

Andy

I have this old vacuum cleaner that's broken. If Dwight doesn't work out, maybe that could be manager.

Pam
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 13 in total

The Office Season 3 Episode 3 Quotes

I have this old vacuum cleaner that's broken. If Dwight doesn't work out, maybe that could be manager.

Pam

Business is like a jungle. And I am like a tiger. And Dwight is like a monkey... that stabs a tiger in the back with a stick. Does the tiger fire the monkey? Does the tiger transfer the monkey to another branch? Pun. There is no way of knowing what goes on inside the tiger's head. We don't have the technology.

Michael
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