Michael: Should I bring a dictionary?
Oscar: The hospital will provide dictionaries. Bring a thesaurus.

Michael: Is it midnight yet?
Phyllis: It's 4:35.

Pam: Don't be mad.
Jim: Mad? How could I be mad? We're having a little girl.

Kevin: Maybe we should cut holes in her shirt.
Meredith: I have a shirt like that in my car.

No one touch Pam's nipples! Think of Pam's nipples as Toby's grundle.

Michael

Phyllis: I can put on lipstick the way Molly Ringwald does in The Breakfast Club.
Michael: I don't think anyone wants to see that.

Pam, you are a woman warrior.

Kelly

I'm sort of a master of distraction. When I was a kid, my mom received complaints left and right from my teachers that I would distract everyone around me.

Michael

Speaking as a former baby, don't get too hung up on baby names.

Andy

We're calling an audible. That's her call because she's the quarterback. I'm just the left tackle... who happened to get her pregnant.

Jim

Bear my child. I wanna have a child for business reasons and I want you to be the mother. If you agree, say nothing. If you disagree, say anything.

Dwight [to Angela]

Jim: [The baby] wasn't conceived here. Burning Man. Port-o-potty!
Michael: Yuck! TMI! How was it? Tell me later.

The Office Season 6 Episode 17 Quotes

Pam: Don't be mad.
Jim: Mad? How could I be mad? We're having a little girl.

I love escorting people... I put an ad out for an escort service and got A LOT of responses. Mostly creeps. Made a few friends.

Dwight