Michael: I know, grumble, grumble. But you would follow me to the ends of the earth, grumbling all the way. Like that dwarf from Lord of the Rings.
Dwight: Gimli.
Michael: Nerd. That is why you're not on the team.

Michael: And this is the foreman. Mis-dah Ra-jahs.
Darryl: It's not my real name.
Michael: No, it's Darryl. Darryl is Mis-da Ra-jahs.
Ryan: Darryl Rogers?
Darryl: Darryl Philbin. Then Regis, then Rege, then Roger, then Mis-dah Ra-jahs.

Dwight: So, we need someone to work this Saturday and I think that that should be... Jim.
Jim: God this is so sad. I think this is the smallest amount of power I've ever seen go to somebody's head.

Pam: Please don't throw garbage at me.
Michael: Pam with the zinger!

Oscar: I can play if you need any help.
Michael: I will use your talents come baseball season, my friend. Or if we box.

Michael: This is our warehouse. Or, as I like to call it, the whorehouse. But don't you call it that, I've earned the right.
Ryan: Fine, don't worry about that.

Michael: When I retire, I - I don't want to just disappear to an island somewhere. I want to be the guy who gives everything back. I want it to be like: "Hey, who donated that hospital wing that is saving so many lives?" "Umm, well, uh, I don't know. It was anonymous." "Well, guess what? That was Michael Scott!" "But - it was anonymous, how do you know?" "...Because I'm him!"

I think the main difference between me and Donald Trump is that I get no pleasure out of saying the words "you're fired." "You're fired." Oh, "you're fired." He just makes people sad. And an office can't function that way. No way. "You're fired." I think if I had a catchphrase it would be "you're hired, and you can work here as long as you want." But that's unrealistic, so.

Michael

Dwight: Did you get your tickets?
Jim: To what?
Dwight: [kisses bicep] The gun show.

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