The Office Season 1 Quotes
It was nice to meet some of you.Katy
- Permalink: It was nice to meet some of you.
Dwight: The purse girl hits everything on my checklist: creamy skin, straight teeth, curly hair, amazing breasts. Not for me, for my children. The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies.
- Permalink: Creamy skin, straight teeth, curly hair, amazing breasts. Not fo...
Roy: Well, what is your type?
Jim: ... Moms, primarily. Yup. Soccer moms. Single moms. Nascar moms. Any type of mom really.
Kevin: Stay away from my mom...
Jim: Too late, Kev.
- Permalink: Well, what is your type? ... Moms, primarily. Yup. Soccer moms...
Starbucks. Oh man, that place is like the promised land!Michael
- Permalink: Starbucks. Oh man, that place is like the promised land!
Coffee is a drug. It is quite literally a drug. It speeds people up. It's not the only drug that speeds people up. You hear stories about Dunder-Mifflin in the '80s before people knew how bad cocaine was... gahhhh, man did they move paper!Michael
- Permalink: Coffee is a drug. It is quite literally a drug. It speeds people...
Ryan: [helping clean out Michael's car] What about this bottle of power drink on the back seat.
Michael: What flavor?
Michael: Blue is not a flavor.
Ryan: It says: "Flavor: Blue Blast."
Michael: Ooh, Blue Blast. Put that in the left cup holder...
- Permalink: What about this bottle of power drink on the back seat. What f...
Michael: Hey Pam, how would you like to be our cheerleader today? You know, some uh pigtails, little ah, halter top you could tie that up. And, you know, some little, just youthful for a change, just this once.
Pam: I don't think so Michael. Besides, I can't cheer against my fiancÃ©.
Jim: I'll do it. Wear a little flouncy skirt if you want, and ...
Michael: Yeah i bet you would, just try not to be too gay on the court. And by gay I mean, um, you know not in a homosexual way at all. I mean the uh, you know, like the bad at sports way. I think that goes without saying.
- Permalink: Hey Pam, how would you like to be our cheerleader today? You kno...
Pam: Maybe Angela would cheerlead.
Michael: Oh, yeah right.
Phyllis: I'll do it.
Michael: Oh, yuck, that's worse than you playing.
- Permalink: Maybe Angela would cheerlead. Oh, yeah right. I'll do it. ...
My fiancÃ© has plans for us this Saturday, so I really hope Dwight doesn't make me work. Maybe I should sleep with him.... I'm kidding. Kidding. Totally kidding.Pam
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Michael: I know, grumble, grumble. But you would follow me to the ends of the earth, grumbling all the way. Like that dwarf from Lord of the Rings.
Michael: Nerd. That is why you're not on the team.
- Permalink: I know, grumble, grumble. But you would follow me to the ends of...
Michael: And this is the foreman. Mis-dah Ra-jahs.
Darryl: It's not my real name.
Michael: No, it's Darryl. Darryl is Mis-da Ra-jahs.
Ryan: Darryl Rogers?
Darryl: Darryl Philbin. Then Regis, then Rege, then Roger, then Mis-dah Ra-jahs.
- Permalink: And this is the foreman. Mis-dah Ra-jahs. It's not my real nam...
Dwight: So, we need someone to work this Saturday and I think that that should be... Jim.
Jim: God this is so sad. I think this is the smallest amount of power I've ever seen go to somebody's head.
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Meredith: [reading birthday card] This one's from Michael, "Let's hope the only downsizing this year is that someone downsizes your age."
Michael: Get it? 'Cause of the downsizing. Rumors. And 'cause you're old.
Meredith: I get it.
Michael: Meredith is so old...(how old is she?) Meredith is so old, that when she went to an antique store, they kept her. I got that off the internet, it's not mine. Hey Meredith, Liz Taylor called she wants her age back and her divorces back! Get it? 'Cause she's getting old, and she's been divorced what, twice?
- Permalink: This one's from Michael, Let's hope the only downsizing this yea...
Michael: Ah, This is our receptionist, Pam. PAM! PAM PAM! Pam Beesly. Uh, Pam has been with us, um, for forever... Right, Pam?
Pam: Well, I don't know...
Michael: If you think she's cute now, you should have seen her a couple of years ago! [growls]
Michael: Uh, any messages?
- Permalink: Ah, This is our receptionist, Pam. PAM! PAM PAM! Pam Beesly. Uh,...