I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War Two veteran. Killed twenty men then spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp. My father...battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight.

Dwight

Michael: Look, Dwight here is a wuss. When we rented "Armageddon", he cried at the end of it.
Dwight: Michael, I told you! It was because it was New Year's Eve and it started to snow at exactly midnight!
Michael: [As Dwight] "Oh, are they really gonna leave Bruce Willis on the asteroid? Boo-hoo!"

Kelly: [practicing karate] HI YAH! Hey that was pretty close!
Dwight: Good, now let me take you from behind.
Kelly: WHAT?!

[on his purple belt] This is not a toy, this is a message to the entire office so that everyone can see I can physically dominate them.

Dwight

Michael: For emergency contact put down Todd F. Packer. You know what the "F" stands for?
Ryan: Fudge?

Michael: [on hold with Sherry] I wish I could fire Sherry.
Sherry: I'm still here, Michael.
Michael: Err... OK, Sherry. Thank you.

Phyllis: Are you a monk?
Dwight: I'm a Sith lord!!

I can't believe I started the fire.

Ryan

Pam: Fargo, um, Edward Scissorhands, Dazed and Confused...
Jim: Ooh, definitely in my top five.
Pam: Yes - in my top three, so suck it.

I hope the war goes on forever and Ryan gets drafted. I'm sorry, only part of me meant that... he'd probably end up a hero there anyway.

Dwight

So I never went to business school. You know who else didn't go to business school? LeBron James. Kobe Bryant. Tracy McGrady.

Michael

When I was Ryan's age, I worked in a fast food restaurant to save up money for school. And then I lost it in a pyramid scheme, but I learned more about business right then and there than business school would ever teach me - or Ryan would ever teach me.

Michael

The Office Season 2 Quotes

TMI? — "Too Much Information." Uh, it's just easier to say TMI. I used to say "don't go there," but that's lame. Hey, what ever happened to 'wheres the beef?'? That was funny for a while...

Michael

A lot of the people here don't get trophies very often, like Meredith or Kevin, I mean who's going to give Kevin an award, Dunkin' Donuts? Plus, bonus, it's really really funny. So I, you know, an employee will go home, and he'll tell his neighbor, "Hey, did you get an award?" And the neighbor will say, "No man. I mean I slave all day and nobody notices me." Next thing you know, employee smells something terrible coming from the neighbor's house. Neighbor's hanged himself, due to lack of recognition.

Michael