The Office

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Season: 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

The Office Season 2 Quotes

Episode 22: "Casino Night"

Jim: I'm really sorry if that's weird for you to hear, but I needed you to hear it. Probably not good timing, I know that, I just —
Pam: What are you doing? What do you expect me to say to that?
Jim: I just needed you to know. Once.
Pam: Well, I, um... I can't.
Jim: Yeah.
Pam: You have no idea ...
Jim: Don't do that.
Pam: ... what your friendship means to me.
Jim: Come on. I don't want to do that. I want to be more than that.
Pam: I can't. I'm really sorry if you misinterpreted things. It's probably my fault.
Jim: Not your fault. I'm sorry I misinterpreted our friendship.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jim: Hey, uh, can I talk to you about something?
Pam: About when you want to give me more of your money?
Jim: No, I...
Pam: Did you want to do that now? We can go inside. I'm feeling kind of good tonight.
Jim: I was just, um... I'm in love with you.
Pam: What?
• Rating: Unrated

Toby: I'm gonna chase this feeling.
• Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Codename Re/Max is here. No sign of Lan Jevinson.
• Rating: Unrated

Darryl: I am not having fire-eaters in a paper warehouse.
• Rating: Unrated

Michael: I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Jim: Oh, I think you mean the Aid to Afghanistan.
Michael: No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Phyllis: Afghani.
Michael: What?
Phyllis: Afghani.
Michael: That's a dog.
Pam: No, that's afghan.
Michael: That's a shawl.
Dwight: Wait, canine AIDS?
Michael: No, humans with AIDS.
Creed: Who has AIDS?
• Rating: Unrated

Creed: [after winning the fridge] I've never owned a refrigerator before.
• Rating: Unrated

Jim: Ever since I was a little kid, like eight or nine, I could sort of control things with my mind.
Dwight: I don't believe you. Continue.
• Rating: Unrated

Kelly: Kobe Bryant has a foundation, and he is so hot. And he gave his wife the biggest diamond ring. I know he didn't do it. Maybe he did it.
• Rating: Unrated

Michael: I know it's illegal in Pennsylvania, but it's for charity, and I consider myself a great philanderer.
• Rating: Unrated

Darryl: I taught Mike some, uh... some phrases to help with his interracial conversation. You know, stuff like, "fleece it out," "going mach 5," "dinkin' flicka." You know, things us Negroes say.
• Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Michael said, "We must deceive them, so as not to hurt them, and in that way, we honor them."
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: Two queens at casino night... I am gonna drop a deuce on everybody.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pam: Sometimes I don't put Michael through until he's already said something. I look at it as a practice run for him. He usually does better on the second attempt.
• Rating: Unrated

Michael: Oh, and another fun thing. We, at the end of the night, are going to give the check to an actual group of Boy Scouts. Right, Toby?
Toby: Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children, since it's uh, you know, there's gambling and alcohol, it's in our dangerous warehouse, it's a school night, and you know, Hooters is catering, and is that - is that enough? Should I keep going?
Michael: Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun, or exciting, you make it... not that way. I hate... so much about the things that you choose to be.
• Rating: Unrated

Pam: It's a nice tux.
Dwight: I know. It belonged to my grandfather. He was buried in it, so... family heirloom.
• Rating: Unrated

Episode 21: "Conflict Resolution"

Michael: Alright, how about the Phyllis/Angela dispute?
Angela: You already did me.
Michael That's what she said.
• Rating: Unrated

Dwight: I have a girlfriend.
Jim: Sure you do.
• Rating: Unrated

Dwight: I never smile if I can help it. Showing one's teeth is a submission signal in primates. When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0