The Office Season 2 Quotes
(singing) Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television, North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe! RYAN STARTED THE FIRE!
Dwight
Everyone. Okay, I have an announcement. Apparently in business school they don't teach you how to operate a toaster oven. Because some smart, sexy temp left his cheese pita on "oven" instead of timing it for the toaster thing.
Dwight
Yes, I was the first one out. And yes, I've heard "women and children first." But we do not employ children. We are not a sweatshop, thankfully. And women are equal in the workplace by law. So if I let them out first, I have a lawsuit on my hands.
Michael
Dwight: Fire! This is not a drill!
Phyllis: You say that every week.
Dwight: Do you want to die?
Oscar: Relax.
Dwight: Question. Where can I put my terrarium?
Michael: What the hell is a terrarium?
Dwight: It's a fish tank for snakes and lizards.
Michael: Oh! So it's an aquarium. Um... that will not come into this place.
I'm an early bird and a night owl. So I'm wise and I have worms.
Michael
Nobody likes beets, Dwight! Why don't you grow something that everybody does like? You should grow candy.
Michael
I have been Michael's number two guy for about 5 years. And we make a great team. We're like one of those classic famous teams. He's like Mozart and I'm like... Mozart's friend. No. I'm like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like... Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart, you're gonna get a bullet in the head courtesy of Butch Cassidy.
Dwight
Actually, I do own property. My grandfather left me a 60-acre working beet farm. I run it with my cousin Mose. We sell beets to the local stores and restaurants. It's a nice little farm... sometimes teenagers use it for sex.
Dwight
Jim: I think that's H-O-R for Stanley, and H-O for Phyllis.
Phyllis: Are you calling me a ho?
Jim: Oh my God. Phyllis coming alive! I like it.
Jim: Phyllis by a nose! Gold medal in Flernuntin.
Pam: Flonkerton.
Jim: Thank you, delegate from Iceland.
A 30-year mortgage at Michael's age essentially means that he's buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so I couldn't hear the other dead people.
Dwight