Packer: Halpert! Tall, queer, handsome as ever. Hey everybody it's me, Jim. Hello, hello. Todd Packer.
Karen: Karen Fillipelli. Jim's girlfriend.
Packer: Shut up!
Karen: Yep.
Packer: Shut it!
Karen: That's rude.
Packer: Either this chick is a dude or Halpert got scared straight!
Michael: Yes. Yes! Oh! There-oh! [Clutches chest and falls to the floor]
Packer: What happened?
Michael: Oh God-
Packer: Quick somebody help! Help the man! [Pretends to kick Michael]
Michael: No, no, no!

Something's up with Jim and Karen. Not that I've been eavesdropping. It's not really any of my business, but I've gotten pretty good at reading the back of Jim's neck.

Pam

Karen: I guess Jim and I have had a little bit of a rough patch for the past couple weeks but we had some really good talks and actually now I think that we're better than ever.
[cut to Jim]
Jim: Karen and I had a long talk last night and the night before that and uh, every night, for the last five nights.

Michael: And remember no matter what, I will always love you.
Dwight: What if he's a murderer?
Michael: He's not going to be a murderer.
Dwight: Maybe that's how you die.
Michael: You know what, Dwight, do you want to do this, or no?
Dwight: I want to do this.
Michael: Okay. From the top. Ready? Three-
Dwight: Action.

Michael: Number eight, learn how to take off a woman's bra.
Pam: What?
Michael: We will demonstrate on Pam.
Pam: No. No.
Michael: Come on.

To jump start a car, first pop the hood. Then you take these bad boys and clip them anywhere on the engine. Then you take these and clip them wherever.

Michael

Here are some things that I want to teach you that your mother won't be able to.

Michael

Michael: Hello son. If you're watching this, that means I'm already dead. Life is a road-
Dwight: How do you know it's going to be a boy?
Michael: How, would you stop interrupting please?

Michael: Guys! Beef: it's what's for dinner! Who wants some man meat?
Dwight: I do! I want some man meat!
Jim: Michael, Dwight would like your man meat.
Michael: Well then, my man meat he shall have.

I don't care what Jim says, that is not the real Ben Franklin. I am 99% sure.

Dwight

It takes a big man to admit his mistake and that's what I did. The important thing is I learned something. I don't want somebody sucking up to me because they think I'm going to help their career. I want them sucking up to me because they genuinely love me. Hmm.

Michael

Jim: Hey, Ryan?
Ryan: What?
Jim: You wanna pull a prank on Andy?
Ryan: Not right now, but ask me again 10 years ago.
Jim: I liked you better when you were the temp.
Ryan: Yeah, me too.

Displaying quotes 157 - 168 of 364 in total

The Office Season 3 Quotes

Pam: I actually might not go. Feeling kind of tired.
Meredith: Do you wanna make appletinis and watch Sex and the City at my place?
Pam: Oh, I don't know. I haven't decided. Yet.

Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hoes in the world. And then suddenly... she's not yo' ho no mo'.

Michael
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