The Office Season 3 Quotes
Pam: I haven't heard anything, but I bet Jim got the job. I mean, why wouldn't he? He's totally qualified, and smart, everyone loves him. And if he never comes back again, that's okay. We're friends. And I'm sure we'll stay friends. We just... we never got the timing right, you know? I shot him down and then he did the same to me, but you know what? It's okay. I am totally fine. Everything is going to be totally...
[Jim walks in]
Jim: Pam. [to camera] Sorry. [to Pam] Um, are you free for dinner tonight?
Jim: All right. Then... it's a date.
[Jim leaves, Pam smiles and tears up]
Pam: I'm sorry, what was the question?
- Permalink: I haven't heard anything, but I bet Jim got the job. I mean, why...
Dwight: Don't you want to earn Schrute bucks?
Stanley: No. In fact, I'll give you a billion Stanley nickels if you never talk to me again.
Dwight: What's the ratio of Stanley nickels to Schrute bucks?
Stanley: The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns.
- Permalink: Don't you want to earn Schrute bucks? No. In fact, I'll give y...
Once I'm officially regional manager, my first order of business will be to demote Jim Halpert. So I will need a new number two. My ideal choice? Jack Bauer. But he is unavailable, fictional, and overqualified.Dwight
- Permalink: Once I'm officially regional manager, my first order of business...
Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. Wanting to protect the world from being exposed to Creed's brain, I opened up a Word document on his computer and put an address at the top. I've read some of it. Even for the Internet, it's... pretty shocking.Ryan
- Permalink: Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. Wanting to prote...
I have got it made in the shade. I know this company. The other branch managers are total morons. [calls Pam] Hey Pam, yeah. I forgot what day the interview was and I drove to New York accidentally. Be like three hours late.Michael
- Permalink: I have got it made in the shade. I know this company. The other ...
Michael: Andy Bernard. Pros: he's classy. He gets me. He went to Cornell. I trust him. Cons: I don't really trust him.
- Permalink: I don't really trust him.
I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That's all I've ever wanted.Kevin
- Permalink: I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That's all I'v...
What happens to a company if somebody takes a boss away? I will answer your question with a question. It's like, what happens to a chicken when you take its head away? It dies. Unless you find a new head. I need to see which one of these people have the skills to be a chicken head.Michael
- Permalink: What happens to a company if somebody takes a boss away? I will ...
There's a wishing fountain at the mall. And I threw a coin in for every woman in the world and made a wish. I wished for Jan to get over me, I wished for Phyllis a plasma TV, I wished for Pam to gain courage, I wished for Angela a heart, and for Kelly a brain...Michael
- Permalink: There's a wishing fountain at the mall. And I threw a coin in fo...
Dwight: I know what you're thinking. Won't that just shed more light on the penises? But that is a risk we have to take. Pam, you can draw, kind of, why don't you work with Phallus on drawing a picture of the exposer that I can post around the community.
Dwight: Phyllis, sorry. I've got penises on the brain.
- Permalink: I know what you're thinking. Won't that just shed more light on ...
I wish I could menstruate. If I could menstruate, I wouldn't have to deal with idiotic calendars anymore. I'd just be able to count down from my previous cycle. Plus I'd be more in tune with the moon and the tides.Dwight
- Permalink: I wish I could menstruate. If I could menstruate, I wouldn't hav...
Michael: Five, four, three. "There is no way, I will resign. It wouldn't be fair. Not to the good workers I work with, not to my clients, and especially not to me. Let's not forget who this whole resigning business is about, anyway. If I could leave you with one thought, remember... it wasn't me. They're trying to make me an escape goat. If I am fired, I swear to God, that every single piece of copier paper in this town is going to have the F-word on it. The F-word. You have one day."
Pam: One day for what?
Michael: That's... they always give an ultimatum.
Michael: Good, cut?
Pam: Cut. That was your best apology video ever.
Michael: Thought so too.
- Permalink: Five, four, three. There is no way, I will resign. It wouldn't b...
Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hoes in the world. And then suddenly... she's not yo' ho no mo'.Michael
- Permalink: Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for yo...
Jan: All right, well are you gonna take care of this?
Jan: What did I tell you about "yeppers?"
Michael: I don't... remember.
Jan: I told you not to say it. Do you remember that?
- Permalink: All right, well are you gonna take care of this? Yeppers. Wh...