The Office

The Office Season 3 Quotes (Page 5)

Season 3 Episode 18: "The Negotiation"

Jan: All right, well are you gonna take care of this?
Michael: Yeppers.
Jan: What did I tell you about "yeppers?"
Michael: I don't... remember.
Jan: I told you not to say it. Do you remember that?
Michael: Yeesh...
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: No need for consternation, everything is under control.
Jan: Michael, last Friday one of your employees attacked another employee in your office!
Michael: It was a crime of passion, Jan, not a disgruntled employee. Everyone here is extremely gruntled.
Jan: [sigh] Is Toby there?
Michael: No...
Toby: I'm... here, Jan.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: Everyday, for eight years, I have brought pepper spray into this office to protect myself and my fellow employees. And everyday, for eight years, people have laughed at me. Well, who's laughing now?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Karen: So do you want to see it or not?
Jim: I don't know. Feel like... Friday night crowds...
Karen: Oh my God, you're like, agoraphobic.
Jim: Agoraphobic?
Karen: Yeah.
Jim: Really?
Karen: Yeah! You would rather sit on your couch and watch a Phillies game, than go out to a movie with your awesome girlfriend.
Jim: Absolutely correct.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: It was a weird day. I accidentally cross-dressed.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Toby: I don't think Michael intended to punish me by putting Ryan back here with Kelly. But, if he did intend that... wow. Genius.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: I guess, all things considered, I was lucky Dwight was there. And Roy was lucky that Dwight only used pepper spray, and not the nunchucks or the throwing stars.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 17: "Cocktails"

Roy: Are they going to call the cops?
Kenny: No, I paid them off.
Roy: Jet ski money?
Kenny: All of it.
Roy: I'm gonna kill Jim Halpert.
 • Rating: Unrated

David: What's, uh, what's with Jan and Michael?
Jim: I don't know. Where to begin? My ball.
 • Rating: Unrated

Student 1: Hey Creed.
Creed: Hey! What are you guys doing here?
Student 2: You're the man buddy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Karen: Hey, do you see that guy behind you in the blue blazer against the wall?
Jim: Yep.
Karen: That's Drake. And just so you know, I don't want to be weird or anything, but we use to date.
Jim: Oh, ok. Cool. Thanks for telling me.
Karen: And it didn't end well.
Jim: Gotcha. Alright.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Do you ever watch Battlestar Galactica?
Dan Gore: No.
Dwight: No? Then you are an idiot.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jan: Why is this so hard? That's what she said. Oh my God. What am I saying?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jan: What's this over the "i"?
Michael: It's a heart.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Oh, you know that line on the top of the shrimp? That's feces.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Pam: Oh, that duck is so cute.
Kevin: Hey Pam.
Pam: Hey guys.
Kevin: Oscar. Angela.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Beauty. Thank you sir!
Dwight: Salad.
Michael: Thank you.
Dwight: You dressed exactly like the servants.
Michael: Shut up. Ok, change shirts with me.
Dwight: Wait. I don't think yours will fit me.
Michael: I don't care. Oh, wow. Here. Don't put my jacket. Don't give me that.
Dwight: That would have been really embarrassing.
Michael: Yes.
Dwight: Crisis averted.
Michael: Ok.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: I have decided that I'm going to be more honest. I'm going to tell people what I want. Directly. So, look out world, cause ol' Pammy is getting what she wants. And, don't call me Pammy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: Hey, Michael left early, so a bunch of us are going to go to Poor Richard's for happy hour. You should come.
Roy: I can't. My brother, he just unloaded the jet ski's and kinda took a bath, so... we're going to go get hammered.
Pam: Ok, well, we're going to a bar. Hey. You have to come to stuff with me. If you're going to be my boyfriend, you have to do boyfriend things.
Roy: Ok.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Thanks for inviting me along.
Michael: Oh, sure. Really didn't give it any thought. Wait, should you be going? [phone rings] Heh-woh you.
Jan: Michael?
Michael: Hey, Buttercup.
Jan: Hi.
Michael: I am on my way. I should be there in about 15...
Jan: Let's just blow this party off.
Michael: That's what she said.
Jan: Am I on speaker phone?
Michael: Uh, yes you are.
Jan: Is anybody else in the...
Dwight: Hello, Jan.
Jan: Hi, Dwight.
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite "The Office" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!