The Office Season 3 Quotes
Michael: Toby now has the floor... and he is going to try not to screw this up, like everything else in his life. Let me rephrase that. I believe that you can do safety training and make it sound just as good as Darryl. Here we go!
Toby: Ok, um, one thing that you're gonna want to look out for is carpal tunnel syndrome. It's recommended that you take a ten minute break from typing every hour. For your circulation, you're gonna want to get up out of your chairs and uh, and move around about ten minutes every hour.
Michael: Yes, good. Fine. Like stretching and...
Toby: Um, yeah. You're computer screen can be a big strain on your eyes, so uh, it's also recommended that you step away for about... about ten minutes every hour.
Michael: Wow, that is... that time really adds up. That's like... a half an hour, every hour?
Darryl: Take them at the same time.
Michael: Ok, you know what? You're making it sound kind of lame. So, skip ahead to the really dangerous stuff. Like sometimes computers can explode, can they not?
Toby: No, no. Um, you always want to keep a sweater or cardigan of some sort, in case it gets drafty.
Ryan: What about a long sleeve T?
Toby: Well, that'll work.
Kevin: Long johns? A shaw?
Toby: You know, anything that warms you.
Michael: Ok, you know what? I think that everybody is going to vomit due to boredom.
- Permalink: Toby now has the floor... and he is going to try not to screw th...
Darryl: The baler can flatten a car engine. It can cut off your arm and crush your entire body without skipping a beat.
Andy: It's on!
Darryl: How many people a year do you think get their arms cut off in a baler?
Michael: Bail'er? I hardly know her.
Lonny: Dammit, Michael. Pay attention, man.
Darryl: Anybody wanna take a guess? Anybody?
Kevin: Five bucks says it's over 50.
Jim: You really wanna bet?
Kevin: Ever since March Madness ended, I am so bored.
- Permalink: The baler can flatten a car engine. It can cut off your arm and ...
We do safety training every year, or after an accident. ... We've never made it a full year. This particular time, I was reaching for a supply box on the top shelf, when one office worker, who shall remain nameless, kicked the ladder out from under me and yelled...Darryl
- Permalink: We do safety training every year, or after an accident. ... We'v...
Darryl: Now, this is the forklift. You need a license to operate this machine. That means the upstairs office workers can't drive it. ... Quiz! Mike.
Darryl: Should you drive the forklift?
Michael: I can, and I have.
Darryl: No! No no no no no! I said should you. You should not drive it. You should not drive the forklift, you understand?
Lonny: You're not allowed to drive the forklift.
Darryl: It's not safe, you don't have a license.
Michael: Guys, I'm not the only one who's driven the forklift. Pudge has driven the forklift.
Michael: I thought your name was Pudge?
Madge: No, it's always been Madge.
Michael: Okay. Um, her.
- Permalink: Now, this is the forklift. You need a license to operate this ma...
Today is Safety Training Day. Toby is leading ours upstairs. Yeauck. But, I am giving everyone a little bit of a treat. We are going to listen in on Darryl's presentation to the warehouse. And if I know Darryl, it gonna be zoppity.Michael
- Permalink: Today is Safety Training Day. Toby is leading ours upstairs. Yea...
Yes, I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three years. Which I'm looking forward to. It's an Amish technique. It's like slapping someone with silence. I was shunned from the age of four until my sixth birthday... for not saving the excess oil from a can of tuna.Dwight
- Permalink: Yes, I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three year...
Andy: Mornin' Jim.
Jim: Hey, Andy. How are you, man?
Andy: Good. Drew.
Jim: What's that?
Andy: You can call me Drew.
Jim: No, I'm not gonna call you that.
Andy: Cool. I can't control what you do. I can only control what I do.
- Permalink: Mornin' Jim. Hey, Andy. How are you, man? Good. Drew. What...
Several weeks ago, Andy Bernard had an incident. But after five weeks in Anger Management, I'm back. And I've got a new attitude. And a new name. And... a bunch of new techniques for dealing with the grumpies.Andy
- Permalink: Several weeks ago, Andy Bernard had an incident. But after five ...
Andy: Good morning, Pam.
Pam: Oh, welcome back, Andy.
Andy: Drew. I'm Drew now.
Pam: Oh. Drew. Sorry.
Andy: Apology not... accepted. Because it wasn't even necessary in the first place. [cracks self up]
- Permalink: Good morning, Pam. Oh, welcome back, Andy. Drew. I'm Drew no...