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Michael: I do not buy woman's clothes. I would not make that mistake again.
Darryl: I'ma call Roy, man.
Michael: Ohh... kay.
Darryl: This is gonna make him feel better.
Michael: All right.
Darryl: This is too good.
Michael: Alright, you know what? Pam, could you please tell Darryl that this is not a woman's suit?
Pam: Oh my God, that's a woman's suit!
Kevin: You're wearing a woman's suit?
Michael: No, I do, I, I wear men's suits, OK? I got this out of a bin.
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Michael: [long pause] I am declining to speak first.
Darryl: Okay, I'll start. It's pretty simple really. I uh, I think I deserve a raise. I'm scheduled to get one in six months, but I'd like that to be moved up to now.
Michael: Hmm. Ohh, Darryl. You are a good worker, and a good man. I just, you know, times are tight. And I just don't think corporate is going to go for this right now.
Darryl: Are you wearin' lady clothes?
Darryl: Are you wearin' lady clothes? Those look like lady... pants.
Michael: No, this is a power suit.
Darryl: That there's a woman's suit.
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Number 14, declining to speak first. Makes them feel uncomfortable, puts you in control.Michael
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Tactic number six. Change the location of the meeting at the last second. Totally throws 'em off.Michael
- Permalink: Tactic number six. Change the location of the meeting at the las...
Kelly: Okay, well the next time that you get scared, that you think a murderer's in your apartment in the middle of the night...
Kelly: ...and you call me, to calm you down...
Ryan: You know what? I didn't-
Toby: Can you stop...
Kelly: ...you can just call somebody else 'cause I'm not gonna do it anymore, Ryan. I'm not.
Toby: There's a bunch of people back here, maybe...
Ryan: Well, don't talk to me about calling people in the middle of the night...
Kelly: I call you in the middle of the night to tell you that I love you!
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Kelly: That is the bravest thing I have ever heard.
Ryan: I can't imagine what I would have done.
Kelly: I can. You would have left me to fend for myself. Like that time we were on the Ferris Wheel and that kid dropped a milk shake on me and you just laughed.
Ryan: Well that was funny, that's why.
Kelly: Oh it was?
- Permalink: That is the bravest thing I have ever heard. I can't imagine w...
Dwight: I saw the perpetrator advance toward the victim at a high rate of speed. His head was thrown back, his shoulder and arm cocked indicating an attack position. Perp grabbed the victim. I removed my weapon from its secure hiding place.
Toby: Which is where?
Dwight: Irrelevant. Discharged it at a distance of a little over a meter into the perpetrator's eyes, nose, and face area. Rendering him utterly and completely disabled. Then I contacted the authorities. The end.
Toby: Thanks Dwight.
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I really don't want to talk about it. I don't mean to be rude, but I just... I don't want to comment on what happened. It sucked.Pam
- Permalink: I really don't want to talk about it. I don't mean to be rude, b...
Jan: All right, well are you gonna take care of this?
Jan: What did I tell you about "yeppers?"
Michael: I don't... remember.
Jan: I told you not to say it. Do you remember that?
- Permalink: All right, well are you gonna take care of this? Yeppers. Wh...
Michael: No need for consternation, everything is under control.
Jan: Michael, last Friday one of your employees attacked another employee in your office!
Michael: It was a crime of passion, Jan, not a disgruntled employee. Everyone here is extremely gruntled.
Jan: [sigh] Is Toby there?
Toby: I'm... here, Jan.
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Everyday, for eight years, I have brought pepper spray into this office to protect myself and my fellow employees. And everyday, for eight years, people have laughed at me. Well, who's laughing now?Dwight
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Karen: So do you want to see it or not?
Jim: I don't know. Feel like... Friday night crowds...
Karen: Oh my God, you're like, agoraphobic.
Karen: Yeah! You would rather sit on your couch and watch a Phillies game, than go out to a movie with your awesome girlfriend.
Jim: Absolutely correct.
- Permalink: So do you want to see it or not? I don't know. Feel like... Fr...