It was a weird day. I accidentally cross-dressed.

Michael

I don't think Michael intended to punish me by putting Ryan back here with Kelly. But, if he did intend that... wow. Genius.

Toby

I guess, all things considered, I was lucky Dwight was there. And Roy was lucky that Dwight only used pepper spray, and not the nunchucks or the throwing stars.

Jim

Roy: Are they going to call the cops?
Kenny: No, I paid them off.
Roy: Jet ski money?
Kenny: All of it.
Roy: I'm gonna kill Jim Halpert.

David: What's, uh, what's with Jan and Michael?
Jim: I don't know. Where to begin? My ball.

Student 1: Hey Creed.
Creed: Hey! What are you guys doing here?
Student 2: You're the man buddy.

Karen: Hey, do you see that guy behind you in the blue blazer against the wall?
Jim: Yep.
Karen: That's Drake. And just so you know, I don't want to be weird or anything, but we use to date.
Jim: Oh, ok. Cool. Thanks for telling me.
Karen: And it didn't end well.
Jim: Gotcha. Alright.

Dwight: Do you ever watch Battlestar Galactica?
Dan Gore: No.
Dwight: No? Then you are an idiot.

Why is this so hard? That's what she said. Oh my God. What am I saying?

Jan

Jan: What's this over the "i"?
Michael: It's a heart.

Oh, you know that line on the top of the shrimp? That's feces.

Dwight

Pam: Oh, that duck is so cute.
Kevin: Hey Pam.
Pam: Hey guys.
Kevin: Oscar. Angela.

The Office Season 3 Quotes

Jan: All right, well are you gonna take care of this?
Michael: Yeppers.
Jan: What did I tell you about "yeppers?"
Michael: I don't... remember.
Jan: I told you not to say it. Do you remember that?
Michael: Yeesh...

Michael: I love you, Jan.
Jan: Okay.