Michael: I saved a life: my own. Am I a hero? I really can't say... but, yes.

Dwight: Jim, could you please inform Andy Bernard that he is being shunned?
Jim: Andy, Dwight says welcome back and he could use a hug.
Dwight: Okay, tell him that that's not true.
Jim: Dwight says that he actually doesn't know one single fact about bear attacks.
Dwight: Okay, no, Jim, tell him bears can climb faster than they can run. [Andy walks away] Jim! Tell him!
Jim: Andy... nah, he's too far.
Dwight: Damn you.

Kevin: Michael, here's the, uh, $15 I owe you.
Michael: Oh, thank you.
Kevin: Yeah. I heard you might need it. So...
Creed: Here's the $40 you gave me.
Michael: I didn't give you $40.
Creed: In a way you did.

Yeah, I heard how much Michael makes. I still think he's way overpaid.

Stanley

Pam: Sorry I almost got you killed.
Jim: Yeah, that was nuts.

Michael: Let's get down to business. Why don't you tell me why you think you deserve a raise.
Darryl: Well, it's simple Mike. I mean we merged these two branches right? So now we're shipping twice as many orders as we used to. With Roy gone we got a smaller crew. And I'm pickin' up all of his slack, so I think I should be compensated fairly, by gettin' a raise.
Michael: [jibberish]
Darryl: What? I can't hear you.
Michael: [mumbling] That was a very good point.
Darryl: I can't- what, Mike? Are you-
Michael: [mumbling] You make a very compelling argument.

Kevin: Who makes it?
Michael: Uh, MISSterious. And it is mysterious because the buttons are on the wrong side... that's the mystery.
Phyllis: Look, it's got shoulder pads, and did you see that lining?
Michael: Okay.
Phyllis: Did you see...
Michael: Would you stop it, please?
Jim: So, none of that tipped you off?
Michael: It's European, OK? It's a European cut.
Pam: Michael, the pants don't have any pockets.

It's been a really rough couple of days... This helps a little.

Pam

There were these huge bins of clothes, and everybody was rifling through them like crazy, and I grabbed one. And it fit! So I don't think that this is totally just a woman's suit. At the very least it's bisexual.

Michael
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