The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXFavorite The Simpsons Quotes
Krusty: Milhouse, know any knock-knock jokes?
Milhouse: (cries) I wanna go home!
Homer: Herb, this is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. I can't believe we blew 2,000 bucks on it when right now rollers could be kneading my buttocks.
Herb: Homer, could you stop thinking about your ass?!
Homer: I tried, but I can't.
Homer: Give me full power.
Salesman: But, sir?
Homer: Damn it! I said full power!
Herb: Lady, you just gave me the idea of a lifetime! How do I thank you?
Woman: Please don't hurt me.
Herb: Consider it done.
Marge, there's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service... but those were all dead ends. I think this chair is the answer.
Homer
Why did this have to happen now during prime time, when TV's brightest stars come out to shine?
Homer
Herb: Maggie...who brought me my fortune. I'll give you anything you want in the world
Maggie: -(machine)- I want what the dog's eating
Herb: I'll get you something nice.
Bart: Goodnight Krusty, sorry about your dad!
Krusty: Don't worry about me. I'm a survivor. Hey did I leave my keys inside?
Family: NOO!
Krusty: Oh yeah, here they are.
Blablueeeh. (with the machine Herb invented) I have soiled myselfhow embarrassing.
Maggie
(On his back, holding Maggie up) The pitch is insufficient for "burp me", and this jigsaw motion is something I've never(Maggie throws up on him) Eureka.
Herb
Hello. Hello? Anybody there? What's this, I hear the phone ring, and suddenly there's nothing. I'm listening and there's no talking. Hello, mister, who are you? Why would they call if they don't want to talk to you?
Rabbi
Didn't Itchy Junior look happy playing with his father? And didn't Scratchy Junior look happy playing with his dad until they got run over by a thresher?
Krusty
