The Simpsons

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The simpsons

Boy, a man on a Squishee bender can sure do some crazy things.

Bart

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

Homer: Ah, finally a little quiet time to read some of my old favorites... Honey-roasted peanuts. Ingredients: Salt, artificial honey-roasting agents, pressed peanut sweepings...

(Krusty Burger in the middle of the sea)
Guy: We tried to tell you these are unmanned oil rigs.
Krusty: Ah, close the damn thing down, no one's ever going to come.
Homer: (bursts in door) Give me 700 Krusty Burgers!
Squeaky-Voiced Teen: Do you want fries with that?
(Homer digs into a big pile of burgers)
Bart: You did it, Dad! You saved us!
Homer: (mouth full) Go away. Eating.

Ned Flanders: We're done for, we're done-diddly done for, we're done-diddly-doodily, done diddly-doodily, done diddly-doodly, done diddly-doodily!
Homer: Flanders! Snap out of it!

I keep telling you lady, your father and son have to be missing for a week before we can start searching. I'd like to help sooner, I would, but we're very very busy down here! (plays chess)

Chief Wiggum

Homer: So how was jerk practice, boy? Did they teach you how to sing to trees, or build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs? Huh? (chair falls apart on him) D'oh! Stupid poetic justice
Bart: Actually, we were just planning the father-son river rafting trip
Homer: (chuckles) You don't have a son.

Marge: (to Bart) I know you think the junior campers are "square" and "uncool", but they also do a lot of neat things, like sing-alongs and flag ceremonies.
Homer: Marge! Don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel.

I don't know where you magic pixies came from, but I like your pixie drink!

Barney

Marge: Homer, I have to go out to pick up something for dinner.
Homer: Steak?
Marge: Money's too tight for steak.
Homer: Steak?
Marge: Eh, sure... steak.

(to cheese doodle) Godspeed, little doodle.

Ned

Bart: Okay, we're young, rich, and full of sugar. What do we do?
Milhouse: Let's go crazy, Broadway-style!
Bart and Milhouse: (singing) Springfield, Springfield, it's a hell of a town; the schoolyard's up and the shopping mall's down; the stray dogs go to the animal pound. Springfield, Springfield! Springfield, Springfield!
Sailor: New York, New York!
Bart: New York is that a-way man!
Sailor: Thanks kid!
Bart and Milhouse: It's a hell of a town!

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 27 in total

The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 8 Quotes

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

Homer: Son, there was something I was going to give you at the end of this trip, but since we may not survive, I want you to have it now.
Bart: A real Swiss Army knife! Cool!
Homer: I stole it from that Borgnine guy.
(Scene switches to the other campers confronted with a bear.)
Ernest Borgnine: Don't worry, kids! I'll take care of him with my trusty (searches for his knife)er, er, um, er, uh, hmm.

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