Homer: Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me!
(Homer turns on the TV)
Man on TV: (pointing and laughing uncontrollably) Ha, ha, you stupid--

Bart: Wow. My dad an astronaut. I feel so full of ... what's the opposite of shame?
Marge: Pride?
Bart: No, not that far from shame.
Homer: Less shame?
Bart: Yeah.

TV Announcer: (after the Itchy and Scratchy episode) VIEWER ADVISORY: The preceding program contained scenes of extreme violence and should not have been viewed by young children.

You're right, Marge. Just like the time I could have met Mr. T at the mall. The entire day I kept saying, 'I'll go a little later. I'll go a little later.' And then when I got there, they told me he'd just left. And when I asked the mall guy if he would ever come back again, he said he didn't know. Well, I'm never going to let something like that happen again! I'm going into space right now!

(singing) Sweet dreams and flying machines, in pieces on the ground. Oops. Uh, sweet dreams and flying machines, flying safely through the air.

James Taylor

Three... two... one... make rocket go now!

Countdown at NASA

Union rule 26. "Every employee must win 'Worker of the Week' at least once, regardless of gross incompetence, obesity, or rank odor." Heh heh heh heh.

The spacecraft has apparently been taken over "conquered" if you will by a master race of giant space ants. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive earth men or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain. There is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I for one welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I could be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.

Kent Brockman

Wow, former president James Taylor.

Ant #1: Protect the queen!
Ant #2: Which one's the queen?
Ant #1: I'm the queen.
Ant #2: No you're not.

Gentlemen, you've both worked very hard, and in a way you're both winners. But in another, more accurate way, Barney is the winner.

NASA Man

Marge: You know Homer, when I found out about this I went through a wide range of emotions: first I was nervous, then anxious, then wary, then apprehensive, then kinda sleepy, then worried, and then concerned. But now I realize that being a spaceman is something you have to do.
Homer: Who's doing what now?

The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 15 Quotes

NASA Scientist: Sir, we've run into a serious problem with the mission. These Nielsen ratings are the lowest ever.
NASA Executive: Oh, my God! We've been beaten by "A Connie Chung Christmas."

(The family watches Homer's launch on TV.)
Bart: Go, Dad, go!
Lisa: How doth the hero, strong and brave, a celestial path to the heavens paved!
(The family stares at her.)
Lisa: Go, Dad, go.