The Simpsons Season 3 Episode 17: "Homer at the Bat" Quotes
Lenny: Hit one here Charlie!
(Charlie swings his bat, it slips out his hands and goes flying into one of Lenny's shins)
Lenny: (in pain) Aah! Aaah!
- Permalink: Hit one here Charlie! Aah! Aaah!
(to Homer) Yeah, and I got my enchanted jock strap!Carl
- Permalink: Yeah, and I got my enchanted jock strap!
Rich Man: Would you care to bet a million dollars.
Mr. Burns: Oh, if we're going to bet, why not make it interesting?
Rich Man: What, a million dollars isn't interesting to you?
Mr. Burns: Oh, did you say a million? I'm sorry, my mind was elsewhere. I thought you'd start with a small amount, then we'd slowly bait each other, and . . . well, you know how it goes. Yes, certainly, a million will be fine.
- Permalink: Would you care to bet a million dollars. Oh, if we're going to...
Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.
Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
(Lou and Eddie laugh)
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?
- Permalink: Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City. I heard some guy got...
Umpire: Okay, let's go over the ground rules. You can't leave first until you chug a beer. Any man scoring has to chug a beer. You have to chug a beer at the top of all odd-numbered innings. Oh, and the fourth inning is the beer inning.
Wiggum: Hey, we know how to play softball!
- Permalink: Okay, let's go over the ground rules. You can't leave first unti...
Lisa: Wow, Dad!
Bart: Homer, can I get you a beer?
Lisa: No, I want to get him a beer.
Homer: Kids, kids, kids! You can each get me a beer.
- Permalink: Wow, Dad! Homer, can I get you a beer? No, I want to get him...
Lisa: You stink Strawberry, we want home run Homer!
Bart: Darryl... Darryl.
Bart and Lisa: Darryl... Darryl!
Marge: Kids, that's not very nice
Lisa: Mom, they're professional athletes, they're used to this kind of thing, it rolls right off their back!
(Cut to close up to Strawberry, who begins to tear up.)
- Permalink: You stink Strawberry, we want home run Homer! Darryl... Darryl...
Homer: Oh no! I don't want you to see me sitting on my worthless butt!
Bart: We've seen it, dad!
- Permalink: Oh no! I don't want you to see me sitting on my worthless butt! ...
Ozzie Smith: How long does it take to see this thing? I'm kind of in a hurry.
Mystery Spot Owner: Well it's hard to say my friend, once you go in, you may never come out.
Ozzie Smith: Wow! (puts the money forward) One please! (walks inside and falls into the bottomless hole) Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!
- Permalink: How long does it take to see this thing? I'm kind of in a hurry....
Homer: Please please please, I want to make the team. Clemens, did I make the team?
Roger Clemens: You sure did!
Homer: I did? Woohoo! Woohoo! In your face Strawberry!
Roger Clemens: Wait a minute, are you Ken Griffey Jr.?
Roger Clemens: Sorry, didn't mean to get your hopes up.
- Permalink: Please please please, I want to make the team. Clemens, did I ma...
Homer: You're Darryl Strawberry?
Homer: You play right field?
Homer: I play right field too, so, are you better than me?
Darryl: Well, I've never met you, butyes.
- Permalink: You're Darryl Strawberry? Yes. You play right field? Yes. ...
Carl: That's it?
Lenny: Yeah, I've got a magic bat too!
Carl: And I have an enchanting jockstrap, Heh, heh, heh.
- Permalink: That's it? Yeah, I've got a magic bat too! And I have an enc...
Want more The Simpsons?
Sign up for our daily newsletter and receive the latest tv news delivered to your inbox for free!